Serious Saturday: Aging and Gray Hairs


Like I promised, a full view of the outfit I wore on my date with Camille. She took the pictures and is responsible for the all out silliness that ensued. These shots were taken on the Meir, Antwerp's main highstreet. I chose this big ass black gate because it provided a nice contrast for my light outfit and because it was pretty epic. Gates are always a good backdrop for pictures, trust me.



I really need to polish those boots. Or buy these, but my funds are at an all time low. Btw I just totally typed 'my lunds are at an all time fow', wth?


 Now, this is SERIOUS SATURDAY PPL, read on and get those minds out of their weekend-snooze!

Camille and I had a talk about support hosiery she needed to prevent her varicose veins from developing since she has a family history of bad varices, and of course my gray hairs came up. I don't know if I have told my readers about my early gray hair yet, but I found my first grey hair when I was just 18. I guess I had an easy time dealing with it because I was still too young to feel "old" because of it, but my mind immediately jumped to the thought "shit, now I'll have to spend shitloads of money on hairdye". And because laziness is my second nature, my mind wandered and ended up asking itself "but why dye it anyway?". 

Would you dye your hair if it turned gray? Or is there an age limit/an amount of gray hair limit that would tip you over the edge of to dye vs. not to dye? And more importantly: why would you/wouldn't you? Right now, I don't feel the need to dye my hair. It doesn't bother me, I am not old nor will gray hair make me "old" all of a sudden. But more importantly: the older I get, the less I see aging as a bad thing. Sure, age is a thief that steals away your health and youthful looks in the night while you are sleeping. I don't look forward to my life trickling away like sand through an hourglass, but it doesn't really make sense to worry about that yet, now does it?

Let's face it: when young people diss on age or older people, it's not because they are scared of death. If that were the case, they wouldn't smoke, drive recklessly, have sex without protection and screw up their education. Young people feel invincible and immortal. No, it's all about losing their place on life's center stage. When you are young and preferably attractive (and white and male), life is your bitch. The shows on tv cater to your interests, the things you like define the trends that must be followed, and the streets are yours. But when you age and have kids, you play second fiddle in the orchestra of life. THAT is scary. 

I still regret not being able to become a wunderkind anymore, I think it's weird that all those hot boys and girls in the magazines are years younger than me, and I don't like thinking about how every birthday I celebrate and every choice I make limits my life options more. But the older I get, the more I put things in perspective: it's not that I lose options, it's that I gain clarity. 

Every gray hair paves the road to my character and mind ripening, to me realizing more and more of my full potential. I feel more secure, more mature, and those things make me a beautiful person rather than a hot chick. Hot-chick-dom might fade when you get older, but beautiful-person-dom will not. Think about it when you shed a tear on your next birthday and ask yourself: are gray hairs, wrinkles and the lack of superficial attention really the end of your life, or the start of a new one that actually isn't as different from your first as you might've feared?

I don't think I'll cry when I turn 30.


dress, trench, bag, socks: H&M
boots, watch: ASOS
ring: Alex Monroe

28 comments

  1. Yes! Loved what you wrote about life being at your feet when you're young and attractive (and white and male).

    I actually look forward to getting older, as an Asian woman in my twenties. Maybe gray hair and wrinkles will cut down on the number of people who treat me like I'm good for not much more than being cute. I mean, I like feeling cute by society's standards once in a while, but I'd like to not have to always prove my intelligence so I can be taken seriously.

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  2. aw! i thought this was a blouse in the last post but it is actually a perfect dress! gorgeous!

    <3 steffy
    http://steffysprosandcons.blogspot.com

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  3. YES I totally agree! I'll enjoy being strong and respected for once! :D

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  4. I know that if it were me dealing with greying hair I would probably dye it. I remember my grandmother being a bleach blond to strawberry blond my whole life!!! She viewed grey hair as the devil's work. hehehe..I remember her being so meticulous about making sure no one would ever see her grey...and no one ever did. Then my mother did the same thing. She started going grey around the same time as menopause (51) and since that point she's been hooked on the bottle (hair dye that is). So I am probably going to be the very same way. I'm superficial based on genetics;) hehe..(that was a joke of course) but yeah, I'll dye the hell out of my hair when it goes grey.

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  5. I think I'll dye it too when it goes grey all over when I'm older, but more because I want to control the way I look rather than have genetics dictate my physique. Just like I wasn't born with pink tips! :D

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  6. Great post Anne Beth :) I think that it's great that you are confident enough with yourself and mature enough to handle the prospect of turning 30. I still feel like a kid, so I dread the idea of reaching 30, but I'm sure that in a few years time it won't matter anymore. I recently discovered my first grey hair, but I'm hoping that it was just stress and not genetics. I definitely plan on dying my hair though, if more crop up. Btw, I love the trench and the dress!

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  7. Loving this outfit!
    And I don't think I'll dye my hair when it starts going gray. 1. I'm too lazy and 2. I actually don't mind gray hair it shows that you're wiser and stuffs....I agree, I don't care that I'm getting older
    http://www.closet-fashionista.com/

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  8. I want that dress!!! What a lovely trench coat as well. I haven't had a grey hair yet (fingers crossed) as I'm only 21!!

    x Aliya

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  9. loving this outfit! and the boots are terrific!

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  10. Amazing boots. Cute with the dress!

    www.fashiable.nl

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  11. "No, it's all about losing their place on life's center stage. When you are young and preferably attractive (and white and male), life is your bitch. The shows on tv cater to your interests, the things you like define the trends that must be followed, and the streets are yours. But when you age and have kids, you play second fiddle in the orchestra of life. THAT is scary. "

    Nog niet vaak meegemaakt dat mensen de vinger exàct op de wonde weten te leggen. Nice one :)
    Overigens: ik vind de leeftijd waar wij nu doormoeten (23-24-25) ook afschuwelijk. Je bent te oud om nog echt als studentje bekeken te worden, en te groen achter je oren om mee te heulen met het werkvolk. Die tussenleeftijd heeft mij altijd parten gespeeld, ook als tween. Ik weet dat ik op mijn 23e in tranen uitbarstte omdat er plots versies van jezelf, maar dan vijf jaar jonger, zorgelozer en strakker door de straten huppelden. Bovendien zijn ze 18 en dus legally dateable ;)

    Jij hebt in feite nog geluk met een oudere vriend, maar mijn vriend is jonger en dus ben ik als de DOOD dat ik op een dag een kniezend niet-zo-groen-als-aan-de-overkant-herfstblad wordt :D Dus jawel: ik zal mijn haar blijven verven tot ik erbij neerval (of ineens in een mooie volledige parelgrijze coupe laten verven op mn 50e)

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  12. een herfstblad dat haar dt-regel zelfs niet beheerst blijkbaar!

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  13. Bedankt! Het is een van mijn meest geliefde onderwerpen dus ik heb al wat tijd gespendeerd aan het uitpuren van mijn gedachten :D

    Ik ben er ook 100% van overtuigd dat ik geluk heb met mijn oudere vriend en gewoon het hebben van een vaste relatie an sich. Toen ik nog een bakvis met obligatoire grote mond was haalde ik wel eens mijn neus op voor het cliché van oudere vrouwen die in joggingpak voor de tv hingen omdat de buit toch al binnen was, maar eigenlijk voel ik me echt gezegend dat ik dat peaceful, easy feeling nu al kan ervaren: iemand die van je houdt, of je nu zin hebt om moeite te doen of niet. Plus: je hoeft je niet elke dag te scheren.

    En ergens ben ik er ook van overtuigd dat het aldanniet hebben van grijs haar voor de mensen die je al kennen het verschil niet zal maken. Een interessante babe op leeftijd a la Susan Sarandon is echt niet ineens minder charismatisch omdat haar coupe niet meer 100 roodkleurig is. Je ziet, ik ben optimist tot in de kist!

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  14. I guess, like you said, the one thing I fear about getting older is the lack of opportunities, but more because already, at 21, I have made so many decisions that have impacted me future that I can't go back on. That scares me. But I've always want to grow up. I've never longed to revisit years of my life- except when I lived in America, but that was more to do with location that the time in my life. I love being young right now, and when I look back on younger people I just see how much I've learnt since I was that age.

    Charlotte x

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  15. Ok that 'like sand trough an hourglass' bit totally had me thinking of Days of Our Lives, a show my grandma watches, a woman with a full head of the most glistening grey hair! De cirkel is rond!!! Anyway, ik denk dat je op jou/onze leeftijd je haar zeker nog niet moet kleuren (tenzij dan funky roze), niemand gaat die ene grijze haar van e nu al associëren met ouderdom hoor. Naar het schijnt krijgen mensen met ros haar geen grijs haar, maar wordt het wit. Ben ik wel benieuwd naar haha, ik zie het al helemaal voor me, ik als klein oud dametje met lang wit haar! Maar dat mag gerust nog 50 jaar op zich wachten van mij ;)

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  16. ugh I'm three years from thirty and nowhere near where I'd like to be in life! But your words make me smile and get back to my journey :)


    <3Meghan

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  17. haha dat was totally de bedoeling, I LOVE de intro van days of our lives :D

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  18. Oh, I don't know... I kind of feel like maybe you're still a bit young to be complacent about aging. I don't say that to be condescending, because obviously I'm not that much older than you (I'll be 28 later this week). But I would say that in the last two years especially, I've really noticed my looks starting to waver on that line where I'm like "are they going? are they going?" Luckily not my health or anything! I don't think grey hairs are a big deal by any means, and I don't think my under eye bags or occasional line are a big deal either, but there is a definite shift in attitude that takes place. I remember maybe four or five years ago I was totally non-fased by not having achieved much career wise because there was still so much time, and I was doing other things that were equally awesome. Flash forward and I start to take it more seriously. It's time to start doing things, or they might not get done. Even though most people think I look younger than I am, I know I'm not, and signs of aging are just visual reminders that that sand actually IS running through the hourglass. Plus, frankly, as a pretty female, it sucks to see yourself start to fade a bit (even if you yourself are the only one noticing).

    Not saying I'm getting botox or anything though! ; D

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  19. You could be right, but I do think that things like the career stuff you mention would bother me a lot more than the loss of my looks. Or not having found someone to share my life with for example, that would make me feel like my biological clock was ticking too, even though I'm not even sure I want kids.. Anyway you get the picture :-D

    I'm just going on what I have experienced, and I find that I am a lot more at ease with aging than a few years ago. I cried when I turned 18 and especially when I turned 20, but my 23rd and 24th were like "what's next" rather than "shit my life is passing so fast". Of course I don't know how I'll feel next year, but my personality has shifted towards more security and a feeling of being content rather than insecure and restless :) you're just the grinch! :D

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  20. I like your perspective on age! Sometimes, although I'm quite young, I worry about what I'll lose when I age. I like the idea of looking at it as a new page in life and a new adventure.

    Also, your outfit is really cute! I love your polka dotted dress.

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  21. niet nadenken over ouder worden, maar gewoon leven. Mijn oma is 90, draagt nu bottinen met sleehakken, gaat er nog steeds mee in't stad flaneren, houdt zich niet in te flirten met mannen die 40jaar jonger zijn, en doet het allemaal met klasse. ze zeurt heel af en toe wel eens over haar verminderde zicht en gehoor en artrose, maar meest opvallend is dat ze zich nooit gewonnen geeft en voor alles creatieve oplossingen bedenkt.
    er zullen elk jaar wel teleurstellingen zijn en het besef dat je sommige dingen niet meer kan verwezenlijken, maar ik kijk toch nog steeds meer uit naar wat de toekomst brengt.

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  22. je oma klinkt fantastisch en ik hou van je levensvisie :) the best is yet to come!

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  23. True, but the grinch factor could be the result of getting older, not having a career, and having spent most of the summer without a life partner (might be getting that back though). I am a miserable git though, babe, you're right. ; D

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  24. OOOOOOOOOOOOoh I love your take on getting older! It's something that's occupying my thoughts a lot lately and exactly for the reasons you mentioned. Not that I am male nor white but I do fear losing the lovely feeling that the world is somewhat yours to conquer. Thanks for some extra thoughts on this topic! :)

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  25. I doubt I'll ever dye my hair. I'm a natural blonde for one thing so most of it will just blend right in. And my parents are 48 and 50 and while they both have SOME grey hairs, unless you're in there searching, you won't spot them, and they both have dark hair so. Guess I'll be good hah. Plus I've never dyed my hair to begin with, not so much as highlights... why start eh? And there's no shame with growing old anyway, as far as I'm concerned.

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  26. I would dye my hair if I turned grey. No question. My husband gets excited when he gets grey hairs (he has about 4 tiny hairs that are grey). I think it's hilarious. My mom turned grey at 30. . .I have two years and a little less than a month to reach that point so I hope I am like my dad. He is just STARTING to turn grey in his 60s! My brothers are balding already, poor dears. I have a lot of my dad's features, so let's hope I have his good hair gene. My husband thinks I'd be hot when my hair gets grey, so at least I know he won't care. I just like having COLOR in my hair!

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  27. ik vind dit nog altijd heel mooi

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