Serious Saturday: Knobby Knees



It just dawned on me yesterday that I hardly ever wear my former UNIFORM anymore, which is an oversized top with a short bottom (be it shorts or a mini skirt).  I used to live in this sort of outfit a year ago, but I've been drawn to longer skirts lately to the point where I almost feel too bare or too exposed when wearing a shorter skirt. Insane, right? Yeah, I know.

In fact, it made me realize that it's a crime to hide my lovely legs away as often as I do. I mean seriously, I have a fine pair of gams. I can hardly believe I used to hate these up until I got to the age of 16-17. I thought they were freakishly thin and awkward with my knobby knees, and totally out of proportion with my "broader" top half. I never EVER wore skirts (except with boots and legwarmers to cover up my skinny calves), even though I used to be a die hard dress lover during my childhood. I sacrificed that piece of me because I wanted to fit in.

Just goes to show how ridiculously insecure teenagers are, right? My experiences seem silly since I'm a thin and nicely proportioned girl according to the beauty standard, but it has enabled me to understand the things every girl with a non "perfect" body goes through. If I was fretting over things this small, how heavy must the load have been for all the other girls with their individual shapes and sizes? 

I remember hating swimming lessons because it meant I'd be all naked in front of all these people who would see how imperfect I was. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't ACTUALLY naked of course, but wearing a bathing suit made me feel as if I was. So weird to think about that time and how probably EVERY one of my classmates was thinking the same thing as me to a varying degree, being scared to death of taking a step outside of the dressing rooms and exposing every real or imagined flaw for the world to see. Walking would make this and that jiggle, and what if not every hair had been removed? GASP, god forbid a classmate would notice some hair left peeking out from under your bathing suit, for that would surely be a reason for mocking and ridicule.

Don't worry, I don't want this to be one of those run of the mill posts celebrating all bodyshapes and being all righteous and meaningless because I don't feel I'd add anything to the conversation. I just want to share my past. I hope it offers someone reading this some perspective: everyone has insecurities: they are mental blockages we put up ourselves and they only cripple our potential. There isn't one insecurity that helps you get ahead in life, believe you me. Just fuck that shit and live out and proud. Sticks and stones might break my bones, but it's the way we put ourselves and each other down that breaks our spirit. 

You are the only person who can allow other people to tear you down. And you are the only person who can put you back on that pedestal you deserve to be on. No one else has that power over you, unless you give it to them.


God, I think it's too late at night for a good post, I feel like my writing today is both shallow and incoherent. Oh well, I never said I was perfect and I won't apologize for it either! :-D GOOD NIGHT TO YOU

top: Pimkie
skirt: T2 vintage
ballet flats: don't remember, super old from back when I was 15 or sth!


PS: just watched Mononoke Hime again. LOVE THAT MOVIE

29 comments

  1. i love those flats. super cute. and your "uniform" of the past has been my current uniform. i'm loving the boxy fitting tops with mid thigh shorts!!! so comfy and cute!

    have a fab day, doll!

    ReplyDelete
  2. lovely skirt - love the pattern

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haha, you do indeed have nice gams. Everyone hates being revealed. I still have mental arguments with myself about whether I hate my own legs. Even though I know/my boyfriend tell me they're very nice. We're all stupid.
    Time for bed. : )

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lovely post! And yeah I am so glad I'm not as self conscious as I was in my adolescent years. No boobies was my shortcoming in highschool.

    ReplyDelete
  5. love your outfit & thanks for being so open, it's always comforting to know that we're not alone in our craziness, and that it can be overcome! I was also so insecure about my body in high school, I would even go into the bathroom to change (in the locker room!) because I didn't want the other girls to see how fat I (thought) I was!
    It's funny too because I have actually thought to myself that you have really dainty, feminine calves & definitely seem slender & tall all around!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Such an inspirational post, hehe :D And I loove the skirt!
    I totally get what you mean about shorter lengths too...the other day I wore one of my old skirts and it felt SO short XD
    http://www.closet-fashionista.com/

    ReplyDelete
  7. I spent much of my teenage years hating my body, and now I'm in my mid 20s I absolutely kick myself for it. I have never been a tiny girl, more of a slim but athletic shape, and I look at pictures of me aged 18 and feel stupid - that girl was hot! Hopefully she's still "got it" :).

    You have extremely enviable legs my dear, enjoy them! The Mondrian-esque print on the skirt is beautiful, and it's another amazing vintage fund. Grrr :).

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think your legs are beautiful!! Knobby knees, indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dit vind ik écht een leuke outfit! Mooi rokje, leuke trui, prachtige benen ;). Heel mooi!

    En bedankt voor het compliment over mijn foto's :). Zelf ben ik er nog niet helemaal tevreden over, maar daar wordt aan gewerkt!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mononoke no Hime is one of my favourite movies as well :) I love Miyazaki! Anyway I enjoyed this post, and it made me think of my adolescence.
    And what you said about "you are the only person who can allow other people to tear you down"...it's so true. I hope people could really apply it.
    Btw nice outfit! :) I love the combination of patterns.

    http://lifeisaromanticpoem.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. i am always in for a print clash! the skirt reminds me of an art piece and i love the shape of the sweater, so perfect. a little bit shorter at the front. it is like you are ready to lift up! perfect girl! no idea why you would be insecure, your legs are gorgeous! but hey, we all had those moments and days! the thing is, my girlfriends were all too gorgeous, it was like you were disappearing next to them! hello i am here!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Heel leuk! Het rokje vind ik echt helemaal goed! Ik had alleen andere schoentjes gekozen;)

    ReplyDelete
  13. You are always pretty, cute and chic !

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yay Annebeth' legs! Love to see them again ;-) Cool outfit!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Great post! I was similarly hiding away my legs when I was younger, and it's only now that I have a huge scar on my left leg after an accident a few years back that I realise how silly I was!
    Anyway I love that skirt, it popped out at me from my google reader! xx

    ReplyDelete
  16. I LOVE Studio hibli movies too! Mononoke is awesome! But my favourite is The Grave Of the Fireflies, have you watched this one?

    I actually wanted to say that I love the mixed prints in this outfit and that you look really cute in the close up photo :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love this outfit- the tomboy stripes with the crazy bold abstract pattern screams FUN to me, and you are such a lovely! Your style is incredible- and you make it look so easy and effortlessly chic!
    the Citizen Rosebud

    ReplyDelete
  18. I am absolutely in love with this outfit, especially the skirt

    xx

    TFC

    ReplyDelete
  19. It's funny how our way of dressing can change in a year. I actually found an old photo of me from when I was 15, and I was SO shocked. I had actually forgotten what I looked like back then. I hardly even resemble myself, it was so peculiar. I was strictly a pants-only teen, but that wasn't because I didn't like skirts. But once I wore a skirt to school and all my friends teased me and asked who I was trying to impress and who I had a crush on. I didn't wear a skirt to school again for 5 years, not until I was in college.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hm dat is nu ik erbij nadenk mijn huidige uniform! Ik doe veeeeel liever iets losser aan vanboven en een kort rokje waarbij mijn benen goed uitkomen, dan onderaan iets los en vanboven iets strak. Heeft waarschijnlijk ook iets te maken met het feit dat ik 1) voor werk altijd mijn sterke kanten in de verf moet zetten en 2) je bij bv een halflange rok of iets met een langere lengte steeds hakken moet dragen en ik al zo'n gigant ben!

    Maar ik vind jou eigenlijk met allebei supergoed staan! Deze outfit vind ik alvast errrrug cute met die streepjes en bloemetjes bij elkaar. LOVE!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I can understand you body dislike, every teenager has it. I was the opposite I hate my legs because I have chubby knees and big thighs... of course playing soccer didn't help. But I have noticed even though I'm not entirely happy with my body, I don't hide it anymore. I wear shorter skirts and show off my arms... of course sometimes I look dreadful in pictures or feel "fat" but now is the time to wear what you want and everyone has insecurities... Of course for myself being newly single I'm absolutely hateful of my body and have no self esteem... That I'm sure will get better as I heal. I always love hearing about your life and growing up! Shows that so much is universal.

    And I like the "uniform" :)

    Lauren
    Sparrow & Urchin

    ReplyDelete
  22. Cute mix of prints in this outfit! I really love that striped sweater with the buttons all down the back!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think your legs are beautiful!! Knobby knees, indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Great post! I was similarly hiding away my legs when I was younger, and it's only now that I have a huge scar on my left leg after an accident a few years back that I realise how silly I was!
    Anyway I love that skirt, it popped out at me from my google reader! xx

    ReplyDelete
  25. Haha, you do indeed have nice gams. Everyone hates being revealed. I still have mental arguments with myself about whether I hate my own legs. Even though I know/my boyfriend tell me they're very nice. We're all stupid.
    Time for bed. : )

    ReplyDelete
  26. lovely skirt - love the pattern

    ReplyDelete
  27. i love those flats. super cute. and your "uniform" of the past has been my current uniform. i'm loving the boxy fitting tops with mid thigh shorts!!! so comfy and cute!

    have a fab day, doll!

    ReplyDelete