Feminism: body diversity, wearing bikinis online and Marlies Dekkers

Disclaimer: if someone starts producing content for the consumption of others, it is undoubtedly because they are attentionwhores. I am, unequivocally, an attentionwhore in the sense that I am not ashamed of presenting myself, my thoughts and my work to the scrutiny of others. However, I hate that word. Attentionwhore. It belies the fact that everyone enjoys (positive) attention, because that means people care about you, that you are interacting with others who notice you. That's not something anyone should be chastized for, not something that deserves a slur of its own.

 as a woman, liking yourself gives many people a reason to like you less

Especially since it's so often used to humiliate women who are simply expressively enjoying their body and mind. A marker of the double edged sword handled by our society, pushing us to take pride in our appearance while always remaining self conscious not to overdo it, not to make it appear like we care, not to show how all of it takes work and effort. As such, I'm a huge fan of how blogs have opened up this whole world of women creating content showing both our enthousiasm in beauty related practices, as well as how much work, money, technique and bullshit is behind it. Blogs are the best equipped to address this inherently human hypocrisy of our culture, because blogs can be as rich and conflicted as the person behind it.
Damn, I must be in my grandiloquent mindset this Saturday afternoon, sorry! Sometimes I do wonder why I'm always compelled to add a disclaimer before posting bikini pictures. Something like expecting people not to take me as seriously when I'm not all covered up (BULLSHIT), or feeling like showing an affinity with looking good might make me seem less intelligent (BULLSHIT), or not wanting to come across as thirsty for compliments (BULLSHIT). But some of my favourite posts have been bikini posts. I like being able to go back in time to see how my body has or hasn't changed, and I like how these posts are the most honest representation of what a real person's body actually looks like. 

 my sis and me showing our different, real bodies - check the original post here and another one here

As much as blogs and the internet in general have been heralded as the advent of a reality check in the media content we consume with regards to body image and beauty (spoiler alert: it's a lie), most of the time we still see carefully posed, curated and edited renditions of what people really look like underneath it all. And when we do see real bodies, very often they are along the lines of the curvy/fat (I use the word as a supporter of the fat acceptence movement, not as a slur). I mean, where are my skinnyfat (or as I'd like to call it: totally-average-bodied) bitches at?? Not all of us exercise, not all of us are super curvy, not all of us are one extreme or the other. Most of the time I'm super happy with my body, but I'm not skinny or athletic or curvy. And even though my body is totally average, I still feel like I contribute to a more realistic view of what real bodies actually look like by showing my body in a bikini.

And I always love coming across brands that support that vibe. You know I majorly respect La Fille d'O for its approach to real bodies and a raw, paired down sex appeal that is about unveiling rather than pushing up or in (see me wearing La Fille d'o here and here), and now I have added Marlies Dekkers to my list of preferences. Marlies Dekkers is known for a clean aesthetic, no frills, lace or (as she calls them) infantilizing bows, and playing with lines and straps that frame your beauty. The brand doesn't focus on cleavage all day errrday, which is one of the reasons why I like it so much - push ups make me feel like I'm wearing a girdle, man. Marlies always embodies a powerful, sexual femininity in her designs, and she habitually designs a collection inspired by boss ass bitches. I mean, how awesome is this The Victory lingerie inspired by Joan of Arc? I could wear that, or The Heroic Journey to sit my ass on the Iron Throne, man.

MD's SS15 swimwear collection was inspired by the Indian Holi festival that mostly revolves around the beginning of spring - appropriate, n'est-ce pas? And the brand representatives offered to let me pick out a set because they were fans of the body positive feminist vibe I try to embody in my internet presence (and life in general). Which is totally awesome. I was invited to a dinner with some inspiring women to talk about the new Marlies Dekkers collection, and even had a whole talk about #wijoverdrijvenniet. Marlies Dekkers' representative impressed me with her talk about how Marlies Dekker's bras take ages to construct because they are stitched with milimeter precision. We became mutual fans over the course of our conversation. And when I put on the set I picked out (the Holi Glamour drawstring shorts and push up bikini top - told you I was a hypocrite), I was converted. Bit too cold to show these in an appropriate setting, so my bathroom had to suffice.

Btw WHY ARE EXPENSIVE THINGS ALMOST ALWAYS SO MUCH BETTER THAN CHEAP THINGS? :( I love H&M, but no H&M bra or bikini will EVER measure up. This push up bikini is actually comfortable instead of wrangling my boobs in unnatural positions.

So that's your dose of attentionwhoring for the day. This bikini is beautiful, and it will make me that much more confident to strut my stuff on some Puerto Rican beach in a month.

PS: my favourite Barbie dress was the exact same colour as this bikini. My sister will undoubtedly know what dress I'm referring to.

PPS: it can't be a coincidence that both La Fille d'O and Marlies Dekkers are run by powerful women rather than men in suits.