First of all I want to thank all of you for leaving your responses to my post regarding some misconceptions around feminism. One common motif in your comments was the idea of feminism as extremism, something I pretty much expected since I encounter it almost everytime I "out" myself as a feminist. And even when I explain myself and my views, I still get the same old response: "I agree with everything you've said, but I wouldn't call myself a feminist." Right-o. Let me tell you something: most people are feminists, whether they identify themselves as such or not. Just ask yourself this simple question: do you believe every individual should be valued for his/her own merit rather than first being put into a gender binary category based on their reproductive organs before assessing their unique qualities? Basically every person in our Western society would agree, except maybe for some truly evil a-holes. If you answered the question with a yes, DING DING DING you are a feminist! However, only a small percentage of all those people would describe themselves as feminists.
For some reason, feminism has a bad reputation. Feminism isn't sexy, and attractiveness is a concept that remains central in many a woman's life. However, I believe it to be too reductionist to see this phenomenon as something only feminism has to deal with. I see this as a widespread fear of really committing yourself to any sort of cause and putting yourself "out there" that way: by choosing a certain political position, you open yourself up to criticism, putting yourself in the position to defend yourself and not everyone enjoys defending themselves as much as I do :-) And this is something EVERYONE has to deal with when they transgress certain established norms, whether they are feminists or vegetarians.
The reason this irks me so much when it comes to feminism is simple: 1/2 of the world is female, and 1/2 of the world is born with a disadvantage between their legs that only becomes a disadvantage because it is fixed as such in their minds and in society. To this you often get responses like "yeah sure women in third world countries have it bad, but feminism has basically done its job around here, hasn't it?". This is simply not true. Apart from the statistically significant difference in income between men and women (even when comparing part time with part time and full time with full time employment), we are also handicapped socially. I have read scientific studies proving that women get interrupted more than men, and that a message imparted by a woman isn't memorized as well as those imparted by men. Interpret it as you want, but equality is not a term I would use to describe the situation.
Don't get me wrong, I understand all of you when you tell me you don't want to identify as feminist. Once you open your eyes for all the injustice going on around you, it is impossible to close them again. And that's where simply being a good person comes into play. I want to make the world around me the best possible place it can be, and opening my eyes and heart to the undeniable gender based inequality is more than just being a feminist: it's about taking your responsibility as a human being. And if you take a look at recent history and the LEAPS we have taken in a few decades, it is obvious that a movement made up out of individuals CAN make a difference, so don't feel powerless. We are the people, we make history.
Why am I telling you all of this, or even lecturing you (sorry :D)? Because by repeating the discourse of feminism as extremism, you are disenfranchising the movement. Sort of along the lines of people who watch someone being bullied without stepping in being as guilty as the bully. Taking a stand doesn't mean you're obligated to fight the fight every single second of your life. You don't have to stand on the barricades. You can do all those things, but there isn't a certain "line" that needs to be crossed before you can be considered a feminist. Feminism is a disposition, the basis from where you live your life, something you carry inside you: your personal beliefs and views on the world. Revolution can take place in the mind.
I'm not here to force you to stop watching any sort of misogynist content, stop wearing bras or shaving your legs, and I'm not telling you not to either (to quote Mel Gibson: FREEDOOOOOM). No, I'm here to raise awareness, to make you think about your position in life. Next time feminism comes up in a conversation, I urge you to keep things simple. Tell them that yes, you are a feminist, and ask your detractors why they are against equal opportunity for every individual, regardless of the contents of their underpants. More broadly: please, don't be afraid to fight for your beliefs, to educate yourself, to think. Our ancestors fought hard to give us those opportunities. And don't forget: we are ancestors to be, and our decisions have consequences. No matter if you are a vegetarian or a feminist.
And for those who have lost the plot after reading my rant, I have three points to make:
And for those who have lost the plot after reading my rant, I have three points to make:
- Everyone who believes there should be equality of opportunity between the genders is a feminist (and yes, men can be feminists as well)
- By denying your own position as a feminist, you are sustaining the dominant discourse about feminism being ridiculous/too extreme/irrelevant,
- You shouldn't be afraid to take a stand about your beliefs. You have nothing to lose and everything to win. You have a responsibility.
I agree with you 100 percent. I often hear people who believe in equality between human beings say they are not feminists, as you say, due to a bad reputation of feminism and the misconception that gender equality issues are a matter of the past. I'm so glad you wrote this.
ReplyDeleteChannelling a bit of Obama there - yes we can! :) Great post. I think one of the reasons a lot of women no longer engage in feminism is that over the past decades, is that so much already has changed on the level of the law. The important changes (in Western countries, at least) we need now are changes in attitudes - which is a lot harder, and the effects are nowhere as clear. For instance: I have a male colleague who fully supports equal pay for women etc. If you'd ask him about gender equality, he would reply he's all for it. And yet recently he told me he thinks one of our other colleagues is a little ditzy. When we discussed it, he admitted that he has a hard time taking her serious on a professional level because she's a little too pretty and a little too blond. He knows perfectly well it's irrational to judge her on the way she looks, and yet he can't help it. Our society is so focused on beauty and looking your best, and yet looking too good can be a major disadvantage as well. While of course, no one would ever not take a male colleague for an idiot just because he looks like a surf model. Saddening, really.
ReplyDeleteIets voor Belgische lezer(e)(s)(sen): kennen jullie een cursus zelfverdediging/assertiviteitstraining voor vrouwen in grote steden? Ik zie persoonlijk meer en meer agressie en zowat al mijn vriendinnen worden met de regelmaat van de klok achtervolgd en lastig gevallen. Niet dat ik echt concreet schrik heb, maar ik zou het geweldig vinden om eens een cursus te volgen waarin je leert hoe je het best kan omgaan met opdringerige mannen, hoe je agressie kan vermijden, wat je kan doen wanneer je anderen bedreigd ziet worden, ... Zo'n dingen bestaan in New York, maar hier heb ik er nog nooit van gehoord. Iemand?
Well said! I enjoyed reading your thoughts on feminism and I fully agree with you on that.
ReplyDeleteI doubt that someone (especially a woman) would not agree with you in this issue for it is something so instrinsically basic as having equal rights/opportunities. And yes we have come a long way and advanced a lot thanks to our tough and brave ancestors but there is still a lot to do and that is up to us, the newer generations, to raise awareness and to continue paving the way for a more equal world. Go feminists go!
Annebeth, I love you.
ReplyDeleteJij zegt gewoon wat ik altijd al dacht, maar jij kan het zo veel beter verwoorden :D Als ik met mensen in discussie ga over feminisme, word ik altijd ZO kwaad als ze dingen zeggen als 'die strijd is toch al gestreden??' of 'wij moeten toch niet klagen want we moeten tenminste geen boerka dragen hier in het westen'. Sta me toe om vanaf nu jou te citeren? ;)
You go girl!
oh please do, ik voel me vereerd!! :D
ReplyDeleteYES this is absolutely the reason why I'm not that interested in professional equality. I mean yes that is important but I'm not a material girl, and I think the underlying ideas are what shape a big part of the financial gap between the genders. Images, clichés, representations and discourse are my main concerns, since they so often go unnoticed if we don't state them explicitly.
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely a feminist, and everyone in my family would identify as one, from my 20 year old sister to my 93 year old grandfather.
ReplyDeleteAnd I for one am sick of being paid less, promoted less, and taken less seriously because I'm a lady. Roll on the next phase of the revolution I say!
THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS! I am 100% a feminist. I stand against injustice based upon gender, sexuality, race, and ethnicity.
ReplyDeleteI love you. You're my hero.
ReplyDeleteI always read your feminist posts nodding violently and thinking, "Yes, YES, exactly!" I love that there is an intelligent woman like yourself out there saying through a medium that can be seen as frivolous (style blogging), "Actually, feminism is amazing, and for all people with brain cells." I'm sure it does some good, and that there are people who read your posts and change their minds about what feminism means.
So many people in the Western world are very complacent about women's rights. On the surface, we're equal, but when you scratch the surface, that's not the case at all.
Being feminist doesn't mean you have to be out there waving your flag all the time, that's not for everyone, but I think to not identify as a feminist shows a short-sightedness about what's really going on.
As long as it's derogatory to refer to someone as being a girl, while feminine behaviour from either gender is considered lesser, while there's a pay gap, while people behave as though I am somehow unnatural for not being particularly interested in motherhood, while my boyfriend who shares most of my opinions on equality feels uncomfortable with the label of feminist applied to him...it's still relevant.
Thank you for your wonderful, intelligent words on what it really means to be a feminist.
I am an extremely proud feminist. I have been for years and I will always be - your point about eschewing the label "feminist" because of it's (falsely) understood connections with militancy or an overly strident attitude as being something that disenfranchises the movement is a really apt and sadly true one. And it's why I believe in openly declaring myself a feminist and questioning the reasoning the motivates other people to deny that they are.
ReplyDeleteCourtney ~ http://sartorialsidelines.com
thank you for posting this and of course all your other "rants" :) because every time you do, at least one girl (me! - and in reality tons more) is given more information and language to defend herself against injustice. Love ya!
ReplyDelete<3Meghan
Yes yes YES wish I could put it into words as well as you do. Just a little note: on your first point you say "everyone who belieFS" and, as I'm sure you know, that should be believes :-) typos happen when you get passionate ha!
ReplyDeleteaaaah thanks, slipped through the cracks! :D
ReplyDeleteThank you! I wholeheartedly agree! This fear of being labelled the F-word is so fucking ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteabsolutely brilliant, girl!! i went to GO feminist conference on saturday (london) and it was inspiring...i wa so chuffed and proud to see all feminists come together and network, as well as tell our stories and support each other. yes, our legs are smooth and we all are wearing bras. :)
ReplyDeletebeautifully written post, keep it up!
xo katrina
theyoungbridgetjones.blogspot.com
I think you are approaching the issue from your particular field of expertise (psychology) as do I (social sciences). This means that you deal with the consequences of socialisation in our psyche and sexuality, while I try to assess the causes and mechanisms of that socialisation. This probably means that you see our personalities as more as a "given" while I see them as the result of coincidental social mechanisms. While of course we can never know for sure, my knowledge about the wide spectrum of different personalities on one hand and the objective reality (as evidenced by my examples) of gender based inequality makes it evident that judgement based purely or primarily on our gender will hardly ever be 100% correct or justified, and that it can have detrimental effects when that judgement goes hand in hand with certain power relations.
ReplyDeleteOf course there is the case of contextuality: in one situation you will be more pissed off at being a woman while in other situations you might be glad you can use certain advantages. The main problem is that we can't choose either the negatives or the positives: you are born and socialized into them, and whether they suit you and your own goals in life or not, you'll have to stick with them. And many feminist theorists would argue that "liking" our general submissive position in society is merely a coping mechanism. I wouldn't agree because things are way more complicated than that (for example: "dominant" or "individualist" personalities are more valued here than in some asian cultures where the community comes first), but I think a base position of respect for every individual and a mindset where you are aware of the relativity of gender based prejudice really is about being a good person and can only lead to good results. For example: I'm not saying all women should get careers or be dominant or excercise their sexual freedom, I'm just saying they should have the freedom to choose whether or not they want to! And a culture like islam would not be threatened because women who choose to live "the muslim life" can still do so, but they should have the choice to do so or not. That way, the culture doesn't need to disappear. Besides, cultures evolve so it doesn't really make any sense to essentialize cultures (especially from the outside since we don't know what the lived reality is like) as something that should be "protected". Islam nowadays is completely different from the way it was way back when, and islam isn't the same in Yemen as it is in Turkey, for example.
And I don't see why respecting someone else's freedom and individuality to the fullest and being modest about your own judgement are not seen as "being a good person" by you, or did you mean something else with that last quote? :)
I wouldn't put it that way. I just think of the words "good" and "bad" as empty in value when it comes to rationally defending an idea,I think you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteThe thought about us being influenced by our fields of expertise crossed my mind too, yeah we definitely are. I like sociology a lot though, both and many more have their influences at the complex whole of reality, all are wonderful and their limits I hate all equally :-P
you go get that doctors degree girl! I feel like you respect my perpective while at the same time maintaining your own
but I wasn't defending it rationally, rationality is overrated! Morality is about emotions and I feel strongly about this cause, it's not about right and false but about good and bad :D
ReplyDeleteI agree that feminism needn't be a threat to other cultures. The great thing about gender studies is that they are able to shine a light on power relations inbetween cultures as well. If you think of feminism as a 'all women should be ambitious and have great careers and prey on lots of sex like a man', then yes, it would be threatening to other cultures. But that is exactly what feminism isn't about: surely we don't want to submit ourselves to taking up 'male roles' (which are of course discriminatory in their own right)? Forcing certain values on other people or cultures in the name of feminism is clearly a contradictio in terminis. Thinking that we need to liberate women in other cultures like we liberated ourselves isn't about feminism, it's about colonialism. We may think of women in mediterranean cultures (like you indicated, male/female roles are not necessarily inherent to Islam, which is not a culture, but a religion, and takes many forms throughout different cultures) as submissive and repressed, but their position in society is simply different. Looking at the history of Islam in Arab cultures, it was meant to have an emancipatory effect on the lives of women. Not emancipatory in the way we would define, but originally, Islam meant to protect and revere women in general. (This is a pretty clear text, I think: http://www.islamfortoday.com/ruqaiyyah09.htm)
ReplyDeleteConsidering all that, I think it's perfectly possible to 'export' feminism. Not as some sort of readymade formula, but as a means to question the gender habits of a society and promote equal rights for all. (Too bad English doesn't make the distinction between 'gelijkheid' and 'gelijkwaardigheid'.)
I almost entirely agree, except for the fact that cultural relativism is also a dangerous thing to uphold. Sure, things like honor killings had/have their function in certain cultures, but that doesn't mean we should find it revolting and that we shouldn't try and give the victims means of defending themselves against that practice. We shouldn't tell people how to live, but if a powerless group in another culture needs help to achieve more equality, we can do our thing :-) So yes, the position of women in certain islamic countries IS different from ours, but a lot of those women aren't happy with the way things are either. Sadly, a group without power hardly has the power to CHANGE that powerlessness too, so that's where we can come in :-) and yes I think it is absolutely imperative to make a distinction between islam as a religion, and the cultures where it is practiced.
ReplyDeleteOh, but I'm not advocating cultural relativism. I'm just doubting the effectiveness of imposing outsider help. There is a huge gap between a group asking for help and do-gooders trying to push change, isn't there? It's roughly the difference between the USA invading Iraq and trying to found a democracy and the Spring Revolution asking for outside help. Change is most effective when it comes from within, after all. But it's a delicate balance... A few years ago, I met a Belgian-Egytian woman who had spent months and months trying to push a law banning female genital mutilation in Egypt. It fell through in the end solely because of a large group of female protestors from the south (there's apparently a big cultural difference between north and south, south still has more tribal structures), who were afraid they would no longer be able to get their daughters married. Which goes to show that as long as there is not enough awareness and will to change within a community, it's hard to bring about any change at all. So where should we draw the line between pushing and helping?
ReplyDeleteit remains a very difficult subject, one without a clear solution and that must always be assessed in context. But you totally get that :)
ReplyDeleteJe hebt helemaal gelijk, echt goed geschreven ook. :)
ReplyDeleteIk ga akkoord met alles wat je zegt, maar inderdaad: ik zou mezelf geen 'feminist' noemen (hoewel ik dat, na het lezen van dit artikel, in de toekomst misschien beter toch zou doen, ga ik eens over nadenken). Ik ben wel iemand die altijd voor gelijke rechten voor IEDEREEN (wie of wat je ook bent, maakt niet uit) streeft. Dus feminisme hoort daar bij. Alleen, zoals je zelf aanhaalt: feminisme wordt vaak geassocieerd met het niet scheren van je benen, niet dragen van beha's, etc. Ja, we leven in een man-georiënteerde maatschappij en dat is niet goed, maar soms vind ik het gewoon leuk om me extra op te tutten voor m'n vriend. Een "rasechte" feminist zou daar tegen zijn, en dat is waarom ik mezelf (eerst) geen feminist noem(de).
Ik ben trouwens vegetariër, en ik ben al die discussies zo moe. Ik moet mezelf al 11 jaar verdedigen, dat is echt vermoeiend, vooral omdat het soms helemaal niets uithaalt en verspilde energie is. (': Daarom vermijd ik vaak dit soort discussies, ook wat betreft feminisme. Het valt een beetje te zien hoe je discussiepartner is: als je op voorhand al weet dat hij toch doof is voor je argumenten, dan is het een verloren zaak. Maar als mensen me ernaar vragen: dan ga ik ze zeker mijn mening laten weten.
Ik vind het trouwens, om op die man-georiënteerde maatschappij terug te komen, beangstigend ook hoe weinig verkrachtingen in België ook effectief vervolgd en bestraft worden. Onlangs las ik het in De Standaard, het was echt een verbazend laag percentage. En als ze dan veroordeeld worden, dan is de straf zo belachelijk laag. Zoiets maakt me echt boos, ik snap ook niet waarom politici zich daar niet eens mee bezighouden. Zoiets is imo belangrijker dan weer eens zagen over Di Rupo of de splitsing van BHV, maar ja. Ik vind het ook stom dat ik als volwassen jonge vrouw 's nachts niet 5 minuten alleen naar huis durf fietsen, uit angst om verkracht te worden. En het spijtige is dat mijn angst terecht is... Argh, ik kan me soms echt zo ergeren aan onze maatschappij.
eventjes voor alle duidelijkheid: er is NIETS anti-feministisch aan het dragen van make up, hakken etc (duh, kijk naar mij) of het maken van de keuze om huisvrouw te zijn, of je vriendje te verwennen, of typisch meisje meisje te zijn. Absoluut niet. Het enige wat feminisme wil, is dat vrouwen kunnen kiezen om dat wel of niet te doen. Feminisme legt geen keuzes op.
ReplyDeleteJust finished reading this. THANK YOU x a million. It's so funny how many people (close friends that I respect and admire even) have said "I agree with everything you're saying....buuuut I'm not really a feminist." Shared on my Facebook. Hopefully they get something out of this!! :)
ReplyDeleteif only a few people realize that they are actually feminists, EVERYTHING would be worthwhile! :D
ReplyDeleteIk ben absoluut ook een feministe en heb geen moeite om dat toe te geven, maar ik wacht meestal tot na een paar gesprekken, net omdat het zoveel clichés oproept en het de blik van de tegenpartij zo vernauwt. Ik wil dat mensen eerst helemaal mee zijn met mijn ideeën en dan vind ik het mijn plicht om mij als feministe te outen. Ik vind het straf dat die clichés over BH-verbrandingen en weelderige haargroei blijven doorleven en telkens weer nieuw leven ingeblazen woren. Los van het feit dat ik vind dat iedereen zich moet kunnen kleden zoals ze wil, met of zonder okselhaar, klopt dat cliché van geen kanten. Je zou eens oude foto's van de Dolle Mina's moeten opzoeken: knappe kortgerokte vrouwen die sigaren gingen roken in een bank omdat alleen mannen dat mochten! In de weerstand tegen het stereotiepe beeld van feministes zie je net de vooroordelen tegen vrouwen: als ze niet jong, mooi en lief zijn, worden ze geridiculiseerd. Ik vind net als jij dat iedereen die in gelijkwaardigheid gelooft dat woord moet terugnemen, opeisen, zodat het duidelijk wordt hoeveel verschillende gedaantes het feminisme kan aannemen. Maar wat ik je eigenlijk wou vragen: wie heb jij gelezen om tot je visies te komen? wie inspireert jou? wie raad je aan?
ReplyDeleteHey Lott! Bedankt voor het lezen en voor de doordachte reactie :) ik ben het helemaal met je eens. Jammer genoeg kunnen mensen zich maar zelden lostrekken van de vaste paradigma's waarbinnen ze denken en waarnemen.
ReplyDeleteHum, ik heb het moeilijk als ik probeer te reconstrueren hoe ik tot mijn inzichten gekomen ben. Vooral veel online artikels door feministische pop-culturele schrijfsters eigenlijk, op xojane en tiger beatdown bijvoorbeeld, en bloggers zoals Stylerookie en Fashion Pirate. Daarnaast is mijn opleiding als communicatiewetenschapster zeer belangrijk geweest, vooral de cultural studies stroming. Filosofische begrippen zoals hegemonie, of Foucault's discourstheorie hebben mijn visie op de werkelijkheid ook heel erg gevormd.
En ik ben een enorme fan van Gloria Steinem. Haar "Outrageous acts and everyday rebellions" is fantastisch. Maar over het algemeen denk ik dat feministische bespiegelingen over pop cultuur me het meest hebben beïnvloed, in combinatie met mijn studies. Bijv de denigrerende visie op iets zoals Twilight omdat het meisjes in een onderdanige rol zou plaatsen, terwijl meisjes gewoon zelf kiezen voor het escapisme in het verhaal, en het succes van boeken zoals Twilight juist bevestigen dat meisjes een sterke economische rol spelen waar rekening mee gehouden moet worden.
Sorry als dit niet echt samenhangend overkomt, mijn feministisch besef is nogal organisch gegroeid door een veelheid aan factoren! De theorie achter sociale constructen was bijv ook een enorm eureka momentje.
Anyway, dankjewel voor je reactie en voor het lezen!
Super, bedankt! Ik ben zelf voornamelijk vanuit academische hoek bij het feminisme uitgekomen en ken geen van de popculturele schrijfsters of blogsters die je noemt. Over hegemonie en discoursanalyse geef ik zelf les, maar ik ga mijn studenten volgend jaar wat meer feministische popcultuur meegeven! Je was voor mij ook de eerste fashionblogster die ik iets over feminisme heb horen zeggen, dus er is een wereld opengegaan! Ik lees met fascinatie mee.
ReplyDeletewat cool! waar geef je les? Ik heb quasi niets van echt feministische theorie gekregen behalve een inleiding over Wollstonecraft enzo. Ik wou dat ik jou als lerares had gehad! :D Het besef is bij mij echt organisch gegroeid door mijn interesses, delen van mijn opleiding en mijn mediagebruik. Een langgerekte eureka-evolutie in a way.
ReplyDeleteAls je geïnteresseerd bent in popcultureel feminisme zou ik je ook aanraden me te volgen op facebook en twitter, daar deel ik regelmatig zaken die ik feministisch relevant vind en waar ik graag met mensen over zou praten :)
this is great! I'm a feminist, and actually journalist for FemInspire.com, which you should check out if you haven't before! Equality for ALL <3
ReplyDeleteXO Sahra
EffortlessCool
I'm a feminist AND a vegetarian...and I speak my mind! Funny that I came across your blog because of an article on a beret!!! Anyone that thinks we have equality is, sadly, utterly deluded :( Stephie http://www.narrativeself.com
ReplyDeleteso, so happy i found your blog! keep going
ReplyDelete