Lots of Introspection About Bodies, the Beach and Insecurity



After my last post, I'm sharing another day trip with you: an afternoon at the beach with my mom and sis, to continue the tradition we started last year. My description of the day is basically the same with the exception that the sammiches weren't soggy this time around (LIVING, LEARNING), that it was less crowded at the beach and that my sis has since had a bajillion different hairstyles so yeah, her hair has changed as well. Just like mine, BOO imagine how fab these pics would have been with long flowing mermaid locks :( Oh well there's always next year. I'm such an optimist.

And I'm probably the most-bikini-slash-underwear-offshowing-Belgian-blogger out there which might annoy some of you. Rest assured, everytime I share a buttload of serxay pictures with you I go over it in my mind, like "do I really want to share this (yes), do people really want to see this (not sure) and will I regret this later on (probably not)". In the end, my decision is always determined by these points

  • I like having pretty pictures of myself online because: vanity
  • I haven't always felt so comfortable in my own body and in a way, it feels like a celebration of loving myself to just put these up there and be proud of it
  • My body is nice but it isn't a supermodel's body, and I do think it has its merit to see all kinds of body shapes in the media (which my blog is a part of). Because every body has a right to be at the beach, to have fun and to be celebrated any which way its owner feels like. And right now, I feel like immortalizing this day and the way I looked online.

Let's get this party started!



bikini: Forever21 - sunglasses: Ebay


PS: there were these awesome new beach shacks when we visited, really small but really beautiful architecturally. I'd definitely rent one of those for an intimate getaway with the boyfriend!




PPS: I want to add a clear disclaimer. The pictures I show on my blog are the most flattering pictures out of the bunch 99% of the time. Especially when it comes to showing pictures of myself in beachwear, I do think this is very important to note. If we're being honest, most of us cringe when we see unflattering picture upon unflattering picture of ourselves and just sort of accept our bodies as less than ideal, forever shunning photographic proof of our bodily existence to be shared publicly. Let me tell you something that MAY OR MAY NOT SURPRISE YOU: I have those moments as well. 

I frown at some pictures of myself, and I choose to share good pictures because I prefer looking at those. But I do find it very important to note that those aren't the baseline of my photogenic-ness. I'm not that photogenic. I have just taken fucking BUTTLOADS of pictures of myself, which means I know which poses and angles work better for me. But that doesn't mean that there are no unflattering pictures of yours truly, or that my body looks typically attractive all day errday. Sometimes (OK all the time when I'm not posing), I look more like this.



A pose that emphasizes my non-sixpack tummy and sort of lanky, gawky physique - which I both accept and don't mind, btw!



And a pose that shows the fact that I have a rather straight waist and not much hippage - one of my maaaajor body frustrations from when I was a teen. I totally see that I'm pretty just the way I am now, but I still wouldn't pick this photo to share on my blog when I have "better" (more clasically pretty/hourglass proportioned) options.

You might feel like I don't have anything to complain about, but just look at it this way: other people will probably look at you and accept you just the way you are, not even taking much note of the flaws that make you self conscious (just like you're doing for me!). Trust me, it's science (the Spotlight Effect). And if they do think you're less worthwhile because of some aspect of your body, screw them haterz. Figuratively speaking of course. Literally speaking totally DON'T fuck them. Hit em where it hurts.

Are you often self conscious when having your picture taken/looking at pictures of yourself? What do you do to cope?


43 comments

  1. I'm coming to the conclusion that no matter how amazing someone's body,
    they themselves will always have something about it that makes them
    unhappy. I honestly love all your photos, even your barely-clothed ones
    hah, because you have a regular awesome body. My tummy is friends with
    your tummy because even when I was at my thinnest, I could never get
    that whole flat stomach thing, I'm just not shaped like that and I know
    you've mentioned the same before here on the blog. I think that alone is
    a great thing to share with your readers who may have similar issues
    and may get comfort from seeing someone else rocking their awesomeness,
    similar to their own.

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  2. Super om te zien dat je zo goed in je vel zit! En t is ook echt tof dat je zo eerlijk bent over je lichaam/foto's/... Het zal waarschijnlijk (en hopelijk) een eye-opener zijn voor velen :) xx Lyn
    www.blondebutterflies.blogspot.com

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  3. You are so awesome - we need more people out there doing posts like this! I've done a few bikini shots before but want to do more now! The problem I tend to have is that I think people are judging me for the decision to put pictures like that online, but maybe I'll do some more soon. Also I love your sister's bikini! I haven't seen one like that before but the shape is really cute and really suits her :D
    xx

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  4. I guess I could get one if I would work out all the time (ugh, sit-ups) but as it is, I carry most of my extra fat on my torso and I really don't have much to complain about. I do make an effort to improve my posture though :D

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  5. people will always judge, and they definitely do so if you put buttloads of bikini pics online but in the end, that is just another form of slutshaming if you ask me. OK yeah it can get boring to read a person's blog if they have 20 very similar pictures in one blogpost, I can give them that :D

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  6. You all look awesome and the picture of you and your mom is really sweet<3 about pictures and parameters of choice, I (like everyone else out there) publish the most flattering ones, of course, but last year I started collecting the most ugly bloopers from outfit shoots for a post feature called "outtakes". Just to remember not to take myself too seriously, you know? Publishing them was really liberating.

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  7. Goeie post, Annebeth! Ik heb ook mijn 'complexen' (tussen aanhalingstekens, want het gaat hier om dingen waar ik of niks aan kan veranderen (vroeger vond ik mijn borsten te klein) of te lui ben om iets aan te veranderen (geen strakke buik), dus ik heb mij er al lang bij neergelegd, ik zie het nut niet om mij daarover te gaan druk maken) maar heb ondertussen ook al door dat andere mensen dat vaak helemaal niet zo opvalt. En omgekeerd ook, als vriendinnen klagen over iets zie ik dat vaak ook absoluut niet. Allemaal wat meer chillen dus, is de boodschap. ;)

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  8. CHILLEN IS MIJN LEVENSMOTTO! :D

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  9. First of all, your sister's bikini is awesome!

    And now I wanted to thank you for sharing these pictures (including the unflattering one) and pointing out to us that you snap hundreds of pictures but pick out the five best ones. The media do distort reality and I really appreciate your honesty here. You're great :)

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  10. Thing is, to someone else all of those pictures of me probably don't differ that much from each other, but we scrutinize ourselves just like we do to celebrities. It's ridiculous, because bodies have no obligation to be perfect, and they never are!

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  11. Love the acceptance Im seeing here. So glad I came across this blog.

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  12. Strakke buiken zijn overrated!!!!1!

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  13. totallehhhh doe mij dan maar chips pizza en ijsjes, daar heb ik veel meer plezier aan :3

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  14. Waw, I really want to thank you for this post. I never heard of the spotlight effect before, and it's really an eye-opener to me. Also, you look fabulous in bikini Annebeth!

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  15. En het is wetenschap, dus echt waar! :D dankjewel!

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  16. You are so funny :))) I'll send this post to my girlfriends to see.

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  17. This is such a good post. I'm going to try to be more proud of myself and accept where I'm at now. I also like that you added that you post your favorite pictures where you look the best. While that's to be expected, it's so cool that you also showed the other "not as good" ones as well. Thanks for this post! You always have a way of writing how I wish I could :)

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  18. it's so easy to forget that everything we see is carefully edited, while our own mirror image isn't! and thank you so much :)

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  19. Lovely lovely post. It's always hard when I want to make a bold statement that all bodies are beautiful, but I still find it hard to post pictures of myself in a swimsuit, or even sometimes be in public in a swimsuit. You handled it beautifully.
    Also I am so jealous of how your sister is rocking that swimsuit. I wanted it but I did not look near that awesome.


    <3
    scarlettandgiselle.blogspot.com

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  20. people aren't consistent, we have feelings and we're all hypocritical to a certain extent! As long as we're aware of it and admit it, that doesn't have to be a major issue :) I bet you look gorgeous in a swimsuit though, because you are just that: gorgeous!

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  21. Echt een toppost! Zijt maar trots op u lichaam, dat zou iedereen beter wa meer zijn! Al dat preuts gedoe altijd vind ik soms ook overdreven. Zolang het niet vulgair is, is het perfect aanvaardbaar om war skin te tonen!
    Keep up the good work!

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  22. Groede! 8 km van cadzand, ze noemen het strandhuisjes en het is deel vd camping!

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  23. that is so sweet! hopefully they'll like it!

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  24. Geweldig hoe je erin slaagt om in een post over strandoutifts toch nog wat wetenschap te proppen ;)

    Die strandhuisje zien er inderdaad fantastisch uit. Die zou ik ook wel willen huren voor een romantisch weekendje. In welk kustdorpje kan je die vinden?

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  25. Groede, 8 km van cadzand! Ze zijn deel van de camping en te googlen onder de term "strandhuisjes" :D

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  26. Not sure whether I'd be posting a ton of pics of myself in bikini, maybe if I had you take em :D but you girls look gorgeous. I, for sure, wouldn't share my body insecurities with the world, though.
    Rocking that pink bikini, Spring Breakers style!

    http://in-so-mnia.blogspot.be/

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  27. och jong gij hebt al foto's in uw lingerie en stripteases online staan! :D bikini is juist hetzelfde toch? en waarom zou je je onzekerheden niet delen?

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  28. Ben ik wat blij om te merken dat iedereen issues/complexen heeft! Wel heel cool van je om dat hier allemaal zo maar even toe te geven! Maar zo 'kennen' we je natuurlijk ;)
    Wat betreft foto's, ik zei het dit weekend nog toen we outfit foto's aan het nemen waren, eigenlijk haaaaat ik dat :D Behalve als het resultaat supergoed is, maar dat is natuurlijk nooit. Er is er altijd wel eentje bij waarvan ik denk 'uurrrgh mijn....' (insert issue here). Maar goed, de laatste tijd gaat het wel wat beter met accepteren wat is en focussen (zowel introspectief als uiterlijkgewijs in de verf zetten) op wat wèl goed is, volgens mijn weird ass standards!

    To conclude, YOU ROCK!

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  29. Hoe vaker je foto's neemt en jezelf ziet, hoe meer je "went" aan je hoofd en lichaam en hoe meer je het als een geheel kunt beoordelen ipv een verzameling van minder-dan-perfecte delen!

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  30. Good post! You're so happy! I love your swimwear and sunglasses!

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  31. You're funny and so happy! And I love your pink swimwear and sunglasses! good post!

    white prom dresses

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  32. LOVE YOU Annebeth! All so true, and you three look amazeballs. I wish more girls/women would think the way you do. Keep up the inspiring!

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  33. Power to you! :D Ik vind het 3e punt dat je aanhaalt ( bij de zaken die je overweegt vooraleer je foto's online post) echt wel uitstekend. Tenslotte, als alleen de mensen die min of meer voldoen aan de algemeen heersende conventies over schoonheid hun lichaam durven tonen, dan wordt die cultuur ook op geen enkele manier doorbroken.

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  34. Kuddo's to you om dat zomaar online te durven zeggen! Serieus ik ben blij met mijn lichaam maar toch nog niet zeker of ik mij ooit aan een bikini-post durf te wagen. In ieder geval super dat jullie ook zo blij zijn met je lichaam. Als iedereen nu eens zichzelf zou accepteren zouden er toch minder 'gemene' comments tevoorschijn komen op allerlei posts (vooral op instagram al gemerkt bij die grote bloggers dat mensen héél cru kunnen zijn with no reason). Posts zoals deze zetten alvast een stap in de juiste richting :)

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  35. dat soort mensen zijn echt helemaal geindoctrineerd in het systeem dat alleen mooie mensen "gezien" mogen worden, en flippen helemaal als iemand die "regel" overtreedt. Triest.

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  36. Ik vind bikini posts echt leuk om te maken en ook om te zien, megazomers gevoel! Volgens mij is bij veel niet alleen onzekerheden een probleem maar vooral ook (onbewust) de gedachte wat andere mensen zullen denken... Iedereen zou eens wat meer je m'en fou moeten zeggen ;-).

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  37. You're right about every body has a right to be at the beach. It doesn't matter what the shape is but like you said, just have fun at the beach! I'm glad you're very happy with who you are and that should be the way.

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  38. heel cool van je dat je dit doet! ik had vroeger ook meer last van hoe ik eruit zag op foto, ik zag altijd wel iets en dan focuste ik mij daar dan een half jaar op. sinds ik een vriend heb is dat helemaal weg, en heb ik gewoon geaccepteerd dat ik nooit een volledig platte buik zal hebben of plots een tiny waist! ik denk er zelfs niet meer over na! btw, you look great in bikini!

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  39. Hi! Great post. Could you please tell me the name of the place you visited? And the beach house rental? Thanks :)

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  40. groede beach, and groede camping! :D

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  41. What a really awesome post this is. Truly, one of the best posts I've ever witnessed to see in my whole life. Wow, just keep it up. Beach Toys

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