Valentine's Day: Love and age differences

I have mentioned my boyfriend a couple of times before on the blog. What can I say, when you have shared basically every day for the last ten years with someone, they tend to leave an impression on your life. But I don't think I've ever written a post specifically about him, and it's about time I did. Because if you don't know my boyfriend, you only know part of me.

We met online. Which shouldn't come as a surprise, since I've spent most of my free time online ever since I was allowed to. I lived in a tiny village, far from like minded (equally weird) peers. People often say they're weird when they actually want to say they were cooler and more *special snowflake* than other people, but I was just really weird. 

My parents were commune-like hippies, I skipped school a lot, I was a fan of metal and punk music in a time and place where dance music was the only thing teens listened to, and I was really into playing Pokemon on my Gameboy. To say I didn't really "mesh" with my classmates would be an understatement. Add to that a healthy dose of conflict with my parents (them being an explosive mix of unstable and overbearing) and you have a pretty unhappy teen, desperate for a connection that wouldn't feel like hard work.

Enter the internet. I finally found my people, I could be cool somewhere. Internet was full of individuals who obsessed over the same pop culture as I did and laughed at my jokes. I found the perfect form of escapism on an internet forum that mainly focused on tv-shows. And that's where I met him. He was a gentlemanly eloquent weirdo. I fancied myself a rebellious eloquent weirdo. He liked movies and music, I got a lot of my self worth out of having broad cultural knowledge. We immediately hit it off, enjoying one another's sense of humour.  He was 33, I was 16.

Yeah.

People actually ask me about the age difference a lot, and while I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation, I do think my story might be relevant to others who might be in a similar position. To make you think twice about judging an unusual couple. Yes, age differences aren't the easiest route to take. But if it fits, it fits. Neither of us were eager to act on the attraction. In fact, it took half a year after meeting each other until it became "more". On my initiative, by the way. I often joke that my boyfriend is actually a better feminist than I've ever been, and he would never have taken advantage of me or pressured me into anything.

Questions like "but what if he's old, and you're, like, less old! What if he gets sick! What if you have to take care of him!!!??!!!". Yeah, as if those things don't happen if you don't have an age difference in your relationship. Take my parents, for example. My mom is two years older than my dad, and my dad ended up straight up dying before even reaching his mid 60s. How stupid would it be to give up decades of happiness out of the fear that something might someday happen? Very stupid, if you ask me.

Now here we are. I'm 26, he's 43. I'm just a bit younger than he was when we met, and it almost feels as if I'm closing in on him by finally getting to the age where I got to know him. And damn, during those ten years we've been through a lot. Radical job switches, unemployment, financial worries, family feuds, finishing high school and subsequently university, my dad dying. 

It's not even just him and I braving all of this on our own: my boyfriend has two (awesome) kids. I don't mention them on the blog because I feel like children have a right to their privacy. But 50% of the time they are with us, and 100% of the time they are an important part of our lives. We've all grown together. I've made all of them love Pokemon, for starters. And apart from my boyfriend, I've taught all of them to tie their shoelaces. Luckily my boyfriend already had that skill when we met.

Valentine's day is obviously a marketing ploy designed to make us buy more shit. But I'm an optimist, and I like to focus on the fact that a day like Valentine's gives us an excuse to ponder on the love in our lives. For me, love is the feeling of home. I come from a difficult home situation. The fact that I'm part of this little family unit is incredibly important to me. It's the stability that has allowed me to achieve the things that I have achieved up until now. I would literally not be where I am today if it weren't for my boyfriend.

And he's amazing. He's smart, so very smart. He's kind, funny, sensitive, passionate, caring, nuanced, empathic, generous, selfless, handsome and stylish. He's also stubborn, tempestuous, a bit of a loner and more of a pessimist than I am. But I still see the boy he once was in his eyes, and I'm so proud of sharing my life with such a beautiful human being. I love him with all my heart. Even more so than ten years ago. Every year we grow thanks to each other, every year we get to know each other better still, and every year our love becomes deeper.

Thanks, babe!

I hope you have someone like that in your life. And if not, I hope you'll meet them when the time is right. Now, tell me what you love most about your significant other. Let's share the love :)