FASHION AND FINDING MYSELF

Time for my latest EIU editorial!

To some, life is about finding your one true love, be it a partner or a calling. For me, life is about finding myself. Fashion gets a bad rep for being superficial and ephemeral, but style has been my road to freedom and independency for as long as I can remember. Follow me through my formative fashion years as I find myself, one fabulous pair of shoes at a time.

The Early Years: Pretty Princess

I’m sure every person reading this remembers spending hours and hours playing dress up as a kid. Rummaging through old clothes belonging to your mom/grandmom, trying on heels way too big, messing about with old make up, taking in the smells and feels of what being a grown up must feel like. I loved the smell of my mom’s make up bag, the powdery sweetness and how it all alluded to the mystery that is femininity.

And of course, my mom didn’t mind my inclination for dressing up. There was nothing I loved more than having her dress me up in frilly dresses, braid my hair with ribbons and skipping about, tattling away in my own make believe world where I was either a princess, a gypsy, a cat, a ninja or all of the above. My parents let me wear whatever I wanted: I was a very free and creative kid. Proof: the veil I'm wearing with my ballerina dress is actually an old curtain. And I HAD to include the nose-picking picture.

Sadly, it is very hard to maintain that freedom throughout our formative years. Somehow, insecurity and puberty get in the way.

Teenage Wasteland: Awkward Individuality

Being a teenager is all about finding the delicate balance between fitting in and standing out: you don’t want to be bullied, but you are hankering for a sense of identity. Getting dressed is a never ending struggle between who you want to be and who you are expected to be: who you ARE seems to get lost somewhere in the process.

I started out dressing in jeans and band T’s, mixed with hand-me-down hoodies that belonged to my older brothers, like the House of Pain hoodie you see me wearing in the collage. But as I got older, I found my niche: punkrock. Plaid, lace up boots, red and black, distressed denim and safety pins were my code words. At one point I cut my hair short and dyed it bright red, and I wore safetypins through my ears. Sadly, being a teenager also means you don’t like having your picture taken, so it is very hard to find pictures to illustrate my style. 

Everyone should have a few years of reckless abandon, of doing stupid things just because you thought them up, of rebelling just for the sake of rebelling, of feeling incredibly cool and incredibly insecure at the same time. Puberty is a horrible, delightful stage in life, and our doubtful fashion choices and lanky bodies express the awkwardness of this fase.

Don’t even get me started on boy trouble.

And so sorry for flipping you guys the bird!

Matured Style: Return To Femininity

Part 1

Slowly I grew out of puberty and into myself. I didn’t feel the need to try so hard anymore and I went for simple, cute, basic outfits. I cut my hair short again as a way to shed my childhood years, but I allowed myself to let some sweetness enter my wardrobe: florals, pinks, dresses and ballet flats. This was the year I worked in retail to save up for university, so practicallity and comfort were key!

After about a year of mostly wearing typical jeans + cute top + sneakers, I went through a fase where I wore dresses almost exclusively. This is the point in time where I discovered styleblogs, and Chictopia in particular. I was bombarded with inspiration, and the distillation of my own style began. Finding my silhouette was the first step: trying to be comfortable with the shape of my body and how it looked in clothes. I hated my boyish figure in jeans, so dresses were my salvation: I stuck to the safest options, dresses with black tights and boots, not really styling anything but just choosing one piece to create a look. As I said, I kept it safe and easy. This wasn’t maturity of style just yet.

Part 2

I started finding my confidence: I ventured out of my safety zone, mixing prints, combining colors, choosing silhouettes that wouldn’t necessarily “make my best features stand out”. In short, I let go of all the ridiculous little rules and regulations you pick up when reading style magazines, and I started thinking for myself. Who cares if midi skirts should be paired with heels in order not to look like a midget: flats are cute! So what if orange and red clash: I love the vibrancy! Tan isn’t really suitable for a winter-type like me? Whatever, I love my tan trenchcoat. In short: I started having fun with style instead of being concerned with “looking good” or fashion fads.
Also, this collage makes me realize I basically have 2 poses. AWKWARD

Stylevolution: Finding Your Voice

This is what fashion is about. It is a bit like growing up: at first, during your fashion childhood, you are blissfully unaware of the rules that tell you what goes with what: you just wear whatever looks nice to you.

But once fashion puberty hits, you start overthinking it. Insecurity makes your fashion voice break, and you cling to whatever brings you a sense of certainty: silly rules in magazines, trend reports and whatever your style idol is wearing. You fit right into a clique, a fashion-subculture, and you look just like your style-peers.

Slowly, you enter fashion adulthood, as you find your own voice again. Your clothes tell a story, express who you are instead of who you wish you’d be, and you don’t frantically look for tips or confirmations that you’re “doing it right”. You just KNOW you are right, because you are the only one who could do YOU right.

Do you feel like you have found your voice in fashion, or are you still searching? Check out my Chictopia post here!
And let me know what you think :-)