Serious Saturday: Putting One Foot in Front of the Other.

Oi! Quick post becauuuuuse tomorrow is my FIRST day at my new job and I'm EXCITED and also nervous and I'm mentally preparing every possible thing (like WHAT TO EAT and WHAT TO WEAR and WHAT TO BRING). As you can see, I'm feeling a bit CAPS-y. I'll deal though, I'm an adult and I'm eager to find my place at this new gig. To prove myself, to adapt and to evolve as a person. If everything goes the way it should, I should have a PhD in four years. I'll be 30 then, which is also kind of cool. I remember being so scared of growing older when I was in my late teens. I felt like my options and possibilities were dwindling with each passing day, like I was pissing away my potential without even knowing if it was really potential or just untested arrogance. But then I DID things. I made decisions, I tested myself and I made sacrifices. And I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't gone through all of that shit.

You see, when I was 19 my dad had a stroke, months before I was supposed to start university. He was the sole breadwinner for our family, and when he became unable to provide for us there was a drastic change of plans. My family cut me off in a way, basically meaning I could not depend on them for anything anymore. Which meant I couldn't afford to go through with the plan that had been laid out for me since I was a kid. 

So. I started working retail to save up for university. It was hard, working long hours and even longer days at mind-dulling tasks like folding clothes over and over and over again. And that boredom led to me trying to find something on the side to stimulate my creativity. So I started participating in online style communities like Chictopia, taking baby steps towards starting my own blog. I wanted to DO something, to build something, to have some sense of progress at a time in my life that felt like I was plateauing. Or sinking. On the other hand, I didn't feel like I really had something to contribute to the world. Who would want to read that? Watch that? My self confidence wasn't exactly soaring at this point. But I dipped my pinky toe in.



one of my very first outfit posts on Chictopia


I wrote myself into a gig as an Everybody is Ugly contributor, finally getting the chance to prove something to the world and most importantly to myself. Writing short articles and learning more about the internet and interactive media in general made me realize that Communication Sciences would be the education that would suit my talents and ambitions best. After saving up for a year and a half I had finally scrounged up enough to go forward, and I entered university. A little after that I started a PROPER blog, with my own lay out and rules and blog name. And I kept working, building towards a better future.



Look it's me in one of my ACTUAL classes being a douche taking outfit pictures!


I loved my classes, they stimulated me and this new intellectual impetus, along with my participation in the blogging community, exposed me to feminism. This was a huge new thing in my life, forcing me to re-evaluate my views and actions on a day to day basis. This definitely pushed my blog to become better as well.  I got opportunities, meeting people and growing in the light of their confidence in my abilities. A major moment came when Stéphanie Duval contacted me based on nothing but her knowing my blog with the offer of an internship, taking me under her wing to learn everything about fashion journalism and online marketing for three months. Again, I grew tremendously, gaining confidence and abilities.

Somewhere down the line, my dad died. And then one of my closest friends committed suicide. It was my worst year, but I managed to hand in my dissertation.



What I wore to my dad's funeral. Keeping up with the drudgery of daily life (like taking outfit photos) kept me sane.


Finished university magna cum laude. I had set my hopes on doing a PhD but financially I couldn't afford to spend half a year working out a proposal and still run a big risk of not getting a scholarship. I sent my application in when I read about a research project on violence against women, but I didn't get a callback based on my lack of experience. Gotta admit, I was crushed at not getting a chance. I floundered a bit trying to find a job during economic recession, but after about 2 months I got my job as a social media manager at a local furniture store. I got to design campaigns and a new webshop. And then, based on my acquired experience with social media and my results at university, I was asked to do research at my uni on a four month project on teen moms in the media. I was excited but didn't want to ditch my other job for a four month project so I asked if I could take it on part-time. They made the effort to adapt the position for me and I LOVED it. In fact I loved both of my jobs even though working two jobs was taxing.



 Tired but happy


I guess that love showed through because I convinced my university of my abilities as a researcher. I was notified of a new project revolving around young teens, sexual objectification and media. After going back and forth a bit in fear of another rejection, I sent in my application. Got the callback. Had a delightful interview talking about feminism. Went home feeling grateful for even having had that talk because seriously, life felt like it was open road in front of me, filled with possibilities. And then I got the email. I was waiting for a "thank you for applying, BUT". What I got was a "thank you for applying, we've decided that we want to go forward with you". My stomach dropped and my heart soared.

And here I am tonight, on the eve of starting my PhD. If someone had told me six years ago that I would have to work retail, start blogging, work on my social network, finish an internship, go through mourning, get a degree and work two jobs to get from nowhere to here, I would probably have collapsed from the burden of the sheer magnitude of what was laid out before me. Yet here I am. It's amazing how much you can accomplish by putting one foot in front of the other.

This is starting to sound a bit like an acceptance speech (but way too long, I would have been booed off the stage by now), so I might as well thank my guy for standing by me through all of that. I literally couldn't have done it without you, babe.



Graphic evidence of the best moment of my life, the day that made all of my past struggles worth it, That Time I Petted A Giraffe. LOOK THERE'S ONE RIGHT NEXT TO MY ARM

So when you feel like you're stuck without a chance of turning your life around, don't back down. Consider your options and start walking towards your future, one step at a time.

29 comments

  1. Oké, na het lezen van je post had ik een glimlach op mijn gezicht. Niet omwille van je giraffe-grapje of inspirational quote op het einde, maar omdat ik, eerlijk waar, oprecht gelukkig voor je ben en dat dus even voelde in jouw plaats. Ga en verover (nog meer), kleine vriend! Succes morgen.

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  2. vond je m'n giraffegrapje en inspirational quote dan niet goed :(

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  3. Veel succes met wat de toekomst voor je zal brengen en blijf zo verder doen :)!!! Sabrina, x.

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  4. Awesome post, honey. Congrats and thanks for the inspiration!

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  5. Wauw. Hier ben ik van onder de indruk, maar ik ben te moe van het studeren om iets diepzinnings te schrijven dus dan maar een bewonderende, uitgelaten en hoopvolle 'YOU GO GIRL!'

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  6. You're so awesome, Annebeth. The way you handle life and its struggles and manage to turn every bad thing into something good. It's inspiring. Have fun tomorrow.. You're going to kick ass.

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  7. Emotions all over the place na het lezen van deze post. Opnieuw fantastisch geschreven en heel inspirerend. Veel succes morgen. Giraffes 4 life!

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  8. Heel inspirerend! Ik begin ook net aan mijn doctoraat, dus ik zit nu in de 'half jaar werk en kans dat het niets wordt' periode. Maar door je post klinkt het allemaal niet meer zo finaal en eng :)

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  9. Wauw heavy story! knap van je! Succes morgen!

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  10. Yeahhhh, ever onwards to victory! I've been reading your posts for about three years now, and I know how hard you work and I've seen some of the struggles you've faced and yeah, You. Are. Awesome! Looking forward to hearing all about everything!

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  11. Wow, heel inspirerend om te lezen welke reis je doorgemaakt hebt en hoe je bleef bouwen aan jezelf en je toekomst... Bewondering! Succes met de nieuwe uitdaging!

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  12. You are just awesome Annebeth.

    That is all.

    Best of luck girl!!

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  13. Ik ben super trots op je, maar dat wist je al! Je bent de beste <3

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  14. Ik ben heel blij dat het zo goed met je gaat Annebeth! Veel succes met je doctoraat!

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  15. Waw, nu ben ik toch even stil hoor. Sterk geschreven, ik zit hier echt met kippenvel. Het is duidelijk dat je immens hard hebt gewerkt om hier te geraken, en daar mag je dus HEEL trots op zijn. Succes morgen!

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  16. Het enige dat ik kan uitbrengen is ook gewoon: wauw! Je geeft mij moed en inspiratie om iets te vinden waar ik 100% voor wil gaan. Stop nooit met schrijven ;)
    Naomi, x

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  17. Wauw! Geniet ten volle van alles wat je (tot nu toe) bereikt hebt en be damn proud of yourself!! Hopelijk is je eerste werkdag goed gegaan! Xo

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  18. Net dat beetje inspiratietalk wat ik nodig had!
    Oneindig veel respect voor jou, Annebeth! Omdat je niet zeurt, maar er gewoon voor GAAT!

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  19. Wauw, Annebeth. Wat een weg heb jij al afgelegd! Geproficieerd! :D
    laurapaulinek.blogspot.com

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  20. Dit maakt mij nu es blij sie, zo oprecht geschreven.
    Stiekem is je verhaal ook best wel inspirerend. Hard work pays off.
    Ontzettend veel succes met je doctoraat minglingding! You go girl!

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  21. PhD-verhaal is héél herkenbaar. I guess life does shitty stuff to ya, but you eventually bounce back into something much better. :)

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  22. Ik bevind mij momenteel zo'n beetje op het andere eind van het spectrum (juist een enorme mislukking achter de rug, bang voor de toekomst en onzeker welke richting ik nu juist moet uitgaan). De moed, de hoop en het doorzettingvermogen druipen van jouw verhaal af. En dat zijn nu juist zo'n beetje de dingen waar ik naar op zoek ben in mezelf op het moment. Enorm inspirerend om te lezen.
    Ongelooflijk veel succes met je phd! Maar ik ben vrij zeker dat je een kick ass job gaat doen. :D

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  23. het leven is soms echt rot, maar die periodes gaan altijd voorbij en voor je het weet heb je al een hele weg afgelegd. Gewoon blijven zoeken!

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  24. So so happy for you! It is amazing when you can see all of your hard work finally pay off. We've never met but I have to say I'm proud of you! Taking all of those hard knocks would have put other people off their path but you persevered!

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  25. super mooi geschreven.. gives people hope!

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  26. Amazing post, Annebeth! Very inspiring. You make me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. I have been reading your blog for around 2 years now and reading about your ups and downs have helped me with my own. Good luck on your new job, I'm sure you'll do fantastic!

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  27. Thank you Annebeth. It's great to hear your bitter sweet in life. It's definitely motivating and of course, you definitely chose a bright path in life. I wish you well in your PhD and future too. Cheers to brighter future! =)

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  28. Somehow this made me cry...
    I feel like the feeling you laid out for us to read is just around the corner for me, I just need to get there...by putting one foot in front of the other...
    I.CAN'T.WAIT.TO.GET.THERE.


    <3

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  29. :) hugs! uiteindelijk komen we er altijd wel, elke stap brengt je dichter bij je einddoel :)

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