Ok, so this look isn't 100% me, but I love it anyway. It feels like something
Paulien would wear, and I love that chick's style so all is good! I might go for something like this in the summertime to class or something, I always turn to either 70's or 90's dressing on lazy, hot days. This one's more 90's obviously.
Also, I'm watching some random crime show right now. Guess what the plot is about: yep sinful women getting punished for dressing like "sluts" or for getting pregnant. I am getting SO sick and tired of this shit. Yeah, sure, the murderer is portrayed as a psycho freak, but that doesn't change the fact that these kind of shows are part of a longstanding tradition of society finding rape, murder and humiliation of women "entertaining". There is so much wrong with that crap I don't even know how to start addressing these facts, so I'm redirecting you to an amazing blog that does a great job of explaining rape culture.
Check it out here. I hope you take some time to read up on it, clicking through to all the examples she gives etcetera etcetera. Being more aware of this has changed so much for me, and it'd be fantastic if I could make you guys think twice when laughing at slut jokes or being entertained by the umphteenth tvshow/movie about a young, beautiful girl being raped/tortured/murdered by some creep in the street. And be sure to share your thoughts with me! I know my readers are smart enough to comprehend the gravity of this issue.
Sorry my post today isn't exactly funny or lighthearted, but life isn't always fun and games, right? I hope I will see more awareness and some change during my lifetime.
jacket: H&M
dress: Zara
converse: converse ;-)
bag: River Island
Edit: if anything,
read this.
When I read this quote:
One time, I took an informal survey amongst the women I knew. And every single last one of them had been sexually interfered with before the age of consent. Some far, far worse than others. And there are degrees, I suppose. Some were abused by their fathers, or uncles or brothers or cousins. And their mothers told them to shut up. Some got pregnant. Some became infertile. All were traumatized.
I thought this must have been an exaggeration. Until I read on to see this:
in incidents ranging from exposure (flashing) to penetrative rape.
Society seems to feel the irresistible urge to put sexual assault into neat little boxes. Date rape isn't rape. Being pressured into sexual acts isn't rape. Having to tolerate sexual remarks isn't rape. None of that is really that bad! /end sarcasm. This post really opened my eyes and got me thinking about my own history and that of some people I know.
When I was 16, I was pressured into kissing and touching by an older guy because I felt guilty about "leading him on". I never blamed myself for being pressured as I wasn't traumatized or anything, I just shrugged it off. But it did take quite some time before I mustered up the strength to be angry at that asshole for doing that to me. The few people who knew about it basically felt sorry for him because I dumped his pervert ass after it happened. Heartbroken, yeah right. I was sexually assaulted by him, and I am glad that through time I have come to realize that it WAS in fact serious and not just something I should "get over". I feel like a lot of women have unresolved issues because they have a hard time pinpointing or naming what happened to them. I'm here to tell you that NOTHING is too minor to be called sexual abuse. If it feels wrong, if it makes your stomach turn, if you keep going on and on about it inside your head: it IS wrong. It is to this day the only thing in my life that I regret. It reminds me of how childish I was. The fact that I still feel like it was a mistake I made, means I still feel partly responsible. I hope someday I won't.
When I was 17, I was walking the dog one day. We lived in a pretty deserted area with only a few houses. I was approached by a creepy guy on a bicycle who started making sexual remarks. He kept cycling by our house when I got home. When my parents notified the police, they told them they knew the guy from other, similar complaints, but that he wouldn't do anyone any harm. Yeah, police is there to protect ya.
When I was 18, I was riding a train. I was alone in a compartment, except for one other guy. He started rubbing his crotch while looking at me lustfully. I tried to ignore him at first, but when we actually made eye contact and he didn't seem fased AT ALL by me noticing what he was doing, I was SO pissed off I actually just told the guy he should be fucking ashamed of himself for being a pervert. He was startled, but started doing it again after a few minutes. When I noticed this, I told him I was going to get the trainconductor if he didn't stop his bullshit right now. He apologized and left the train at the next stop.
I'm not even starting about my experiences with creepy sexual behavior online, or the dudes grinding slash dancing on me the few times I went to a party when I was a teen, or the countless times some classmate grabbed my ass/stroked my leg/made sexually demeaning remarks between the age of 10 and 14.
My sister was still a very young teen at about 12 years old when some old dude threw her a sexual remark on the street.
Point I'm trying to make is that sexual abuse is everywhere. Looking it in its perverted eyes is enormously empowering, and if everyone would be OPEN about disapproving even the slightest form of sexual abuse (f.e. grabbing someone's ass at a party), our daughters might not be confronted with it. I hereby pledge I will ALWAYS choose the side of the victim of even "subtle" sexual abuse. Abuse is abuse, just like you can't just murder someone "a little".
Feel free to share opinions or experiences. Sorry this post is a total incohesive rant.
I was partly inspired by Angie's post on her experience with sexual abuse too,
check it out here.
