Consumed by Consumerism: Get a Hold of Yourself, Woman!

I'm missing the gorgeous summerweather. Today was rainy, windy and about 10°celsius colder than the week before, so I'm posting these pics from a few days ago to relive that glorious weather <3 so EXCUSE ME while I bombard you guys with pics.



Why can't every day be sunny like this?


Also, rant ahead: I came across this post about a girl trying to come to grips with her compulsive shopping today and it sort of touched me. I think most of us have at one time in our lives been confronted with a compulsion to consume, but most of us don't admit it to ourselves, let alone the internet! This girl is very brave for admitting to herself that her behavior is getting problematic, without going all "oh, girls will be girls, teehee" on our asses. I hate it when women do that. As if we don't have any self control when it comes to shoes/clothes/chocolate/jewelry/pink stuff/anything cliché girly. Own that shit, woman. You are not a slave of your desire to buy. Every time you take out your wallet to add another piece to your collection, you are making a conscious decision.

I feel like the issue of compulsive buying definitely has a lot of relevancy in our little blogosphere. A lot of girls who are "into fashion" are actually just compulsive shoppers if you ask me, using their free blogger domains to validate their addictions. Not all of us experience this to the same extent, but I'm sure we can all recognize that little voice in your head that tells you "You DESERVE that piece! It's different from everything you own! You might never find a piece quite like it!", and all of that might in fact be true. But the question you need to ask yourself is: do you NEED that piece? Will it infinitely improve your life? Will you lose your fashion credentials if you pass up on it? Let me make it easy for you: unless you are pondering on buying unmentionables because the elastic on your old pair has gone droopier than Charlie Sheen's eyes after a day of binging on  a drug called Charlie Sheen, the answer is NO. You do not need it. You WANT it, but you don't need it. You can walk away from it if your funds are insufficient. 

If you worry about your parents or boyfriend getting mad at you for coming home with yet ANOTHER shopping bag, or if you are concerned about even finding closet space to put your new goodies: put it down and walk away. Your life will not instantly get better if you give in to your every urge. You are not a 6 year old that *NEEDS* that cookie. When you are secretly shopping and hiding your purchases, you're not only lying to the people who love you. You are lying to yourself.

Society basically runs on us buying crap. Our spending habits are the oil to the capitalist motor. Everyday and everywhere we are forcefed images of new products in flashy packages, must haves or things we should definitely "try out" if we ever want to live a fulfilled life. And when we've finally caved and bought one item, we inevitably feel let down by it not giving us what it promised, so we move on to the next piece of crap that still holds the promise of making us look and feel like a supermodel. We have gone past that stage of being aware of all the manipulation going on around us, settled into a postmodern, jaded state of being. Yeah, we are aware of things like product placement, photoshop, fake fantasies and all that jazz. We soothe our worried minds by telling ourselves we buy into all that crap voluntarily. After all, that's just how society is, right? Why try and fight it? 
I'd rather die than accept the role of a passive yeahsayer. You only have one life to live, so be sure you live it yourself instead of being lived.

I know giving up impulse buys is easier said than done. Believe me, I am not imune to it either. But I thought I might give my sweet readers a few tips on how to cope with this addiction. Here's The Styling Dutchman's Three Step Plan.


1. Are you aware of the fact that you're spending a lot of money on randomness, but the gravity of the situation hasn't exactly sunk in? Keep track of what you buy: make a list, including price, and keep all your purchases of the last month separated from your wardrobe. This way, you'll get a clear view on your spending pattern, as well as a visual reminder of how many things you actually acquire within the short timespan of one month.

2. Next step: you have established the fact that yes, you spend too much money on stuff you don't need. What are you going to do now? You are going to do some soulsearching. Why are you a compulsive shopper? Maybe you feel naked without the newest styles as a harness to shield your insecurity and vulnerability from the harsh outside world. Maybe you are bored out of your mind and use shopping as a quick fix, a shot of adrenaline, a way to make your life a bit less grey. Or maybe you are just still on the search for your personal style, sniffing out every new trend to try it on for size. I can't help you with these problems, you'll have to help yourself. But acknowledging the deeper cause for the symptom of your shopping addiction might be the first step to controlling it.

3. Last step: deal with it. Be aware of your insecurities, shield yourself for those moments of weakness. Don't go shopping during your lunchbreak for instance, but read a stimulating book. Be very conscious about every purchase, asking yourself why you feel like you need this garment right now. If you are one of those girls who have a closet full of garments but still find themselves wasting time in the morning, not finding anything to wear: try the 30 for 30 challenge. Google it, you'll find loads of blogs who've commited themselves to it. This challenge will help you rediscover your wardrobe and your sense of style, pushing you out of your comfort zone and forcing you to develop your own voice. Another good tip I can give you: put together an image in your mind of the girl you would like to be/would like to look like. Every time you put together an outfit or contemplate spluring on an item, ask yourself whether that girl in your head would wear it/buy it. You'll find your impulse buys drastically decreasing, and it makes getting dressed in the morning THAT much easier. My imaginary icon? A mix of Alexa Chung, Peggy Olson and a sixties schoolgirl.

    Be sure to tell me about your experiences with being a slave of consumerist society, or share your tips on how to break loose with us!

    And remember: there is a world of difference between "fashion" and "style".

    skirt: T2 vintage
    croptop: altered New Look
    ballet flats: old, don't remember
    glasses: Claire's
    ring: Alex Monroe

    55 comments

    1. Wow, you have summed up everything I couldn't say! Such a great post and the realization has hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm actually looking forward to my new spending ban and will of course be using your tips! Thanks again.
      Gorgeous outfit by the way! I have a similar skirt in pink, that I may just wear tomorrow now. xx

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    2. Weer een geweldige post Annebeth ! Soms heb ik het ook wel eens moeilijk om iets niet te kopen, maar dan hang ik het terug en ga ik eerst in andere winkels kijken.. Als ik het na een uur nog steeds wil & ik heb goed nagedacht of ik het kan gebruiken/dragen, dan koop ik het pas ;)

      x

      ReplyDelete
    3. I completely agree with you, it is so easy to let style take a back seat to fashion and just to buy something new to 'give an outfit an edge'. I'm on my fourth week shopping free (I thought Lent would be a good time to try giving up shopping - everyone's giving something up so it makes it less tough to stick to) and it definitely gets easier as you go along. An added bonus is that you learn how to be even more creative with your styling. Thanks for an awesome and inspirational post! xx

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    4. This is an awesome post my dear! I love your tips and it is truly helpful as I have been on a shopping ban for the last month. In society today we are looking for the instant gratification that the media, tv, internet, music and consumerism gives us. We need more and more to keep us happy and give us that "jolt" of instant gratification. I admit that I do it. When I am sad or depressed I need that instant fix to "cure" it. However, I realize the happiness that shopping brings is brief, hense the shopping ban. When I was in Australia for the year I truly understood what it meant to remix my wardrobe, not shop and work with what I had. I took more care inbuying special pieces because if it didn't fit in my suitcase at the end of my year there it wasn't worth buying!

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    5. Love this outfit!
      and yes...I know exactly what you mean about impulse buys...I still have so much trouble controlling myself even with my budget, I go up and down some months I am SO good but then the next month (like this one) I go insane...it is NOT fun being a shopaholic...but I know why I dio it...since I don't have many human relationships I love my closet and my clothes and my Harry Potter things...they make me happy so I just keep buying...haha *phew* that was long
      http://www.closet-fashionista.com/

      ReplyDelete
    6. I'm fairly disciplined and controlled, but I definitely feel as though the blog has made it more difficult, partly because so much more temptation is put in my way, partly because successful bloggers seem to have the latest stuff (I know this is a stupid reason). But I mean, you, for example, have midi skirts, clogs, you're wearing pleats today (all recent trends right). I have nude tones, bow blouses, platforms (also recent trends) and it's all filtering down to the next level and encouraging other people to spend more just as we are being encouraged by Calivintage, if you know what I mean. I think the hardest part about blogging (which I love) for me has been the increase in consumerist urges, and feeling a part of that system. Hmmm.

      P.S. I feel like I'm always arguing with your posts, but actually I usually agree. I guess I just like venting in your comment section!

      ReplyDelete
    7. I am just going to put this out there...
      i think you are amazing for writing about this topic. it is so true that commercialism saturates the lives of people and being a shopaholic can happen on so many levels! I am a shopaholic. It got really bad when we moved out here to Germany and I felt really lonely and isolated. I want to shop all the time and was mad when I didn't get to, whether buying something new or at the secondhand shop. That is a problem and I try to deal with it. Sometimes it's still hard and I think I slip up but overall I think I am doing better... blogging and "shopping" in my own closet is helpful. I revamped and culled my wardrobe so I don't have those mornings where i don't "have anything" to wear. I cook new things. I read more and take and edit photos which is helping... I used to spend hours and hours online window-shopping and making wishlists... there is so much more to life than just having the newest clothes. Seeing girls with the fantasy closets and sponsorships in the blogosphere is daunting sometimes, but one has to go back to their own reality. Talk about your shopaholic tendencies with your friends and family and they will help and encourage you in positive ways! When you do get the chance to buy something, you will feel rewarded and not guilty about it and it will more than likely be something you love and will use a lot rather than something that just curbed the shopping appetite. I am open to talk about my experience with anyone who is interested and be there for them if they need me. Thank you Annebeth!

      ReplyDelete
    8. Oh, wanted to add... I definitely agree that a lot of bloggers are just girls validating their shopping addictions--that was an awesome line!

      ReplyDelete
    9. Love the outfit!! So great for such a gorgeous beautiful day like that.
      Great post!! I like this, I tried to put a shopping ban on myself before for a month and it only lasted 3 weeks. Which I feel like is not enough self restraint. I hate spending money, but at least when I do it, I make sure I am not spending too much money. I have enough self control that if something is over a certain price point I will put it back. I feel like since I got my blog I've become a better shopper actually. I know what I will and will not wear. I used to impulse purchase a lot, and now I write out in my moleskin "wants" and "needs" for my wardrobe, like a plain dress or new tights etc.
      xJennaD

      ReplyDelete
    10. Such a great post! I cannot get over your sunglasses! I love themmm! and this post is GREAT!!!

      ReplyDelete
    11. Wonderful post! I've never thought of myself as a compulsive consumerist - I own everything purchase, hide it from no one, stick to a tight budget that I feel comfortable with, and love to save money by thrifting...but you are so right about all of this!

      xoxo ~ Courtney
      http://sartorialsidelines.blogspot.com

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    12. i love the colors :P

      visit me : www.fanailflo.com

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    13. Your advice is spot on. I didn't realize I was a compulsive shopper or at least I didn't admit it to myself until after college and the student loans started piling up and the credit cards too. On my blog, I am trying to remix with what I already have. When I see girls on blogs who always have the latest item whether it be from Gap or Saks, I think they definitely have a problem. Did you witness the 30 for 30? That was a huge help to me in setting my mind straight. Thanks for the further affirmation.

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    14. omg i LOVEEEEE your skirt it is perfectly pleated!!! i want i want!


      <3 steffy
      Steffys Pros and Cons

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    15. your skirt is absolutely gorgeous!

      http://sarassweetstyle.blogspot.com/

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    16. Love this! You look so pretty, I love your shoes also! :)

      ReplyDelete
    17. I love that top more than words can express.
      I really like this post. I only buy things if I really, really want them. Why buy it if you can live without it? And I never apologize. :)

      ReplyDelete
    18. the skirt is divine and another great post, annebeth. i wanted to hit my head in the wall on how brilliantly this was written. i hope you don't get bored at me praising you like a goddess or of some sort.

      i'm also a slave of materialism. i've wanted badly to shop to showcase nice things for my blog but it didn't really make me happy at all. how i overcame it, i had to be hit hard when i was drowning with credit card bills. i've learned to live within my means and saving is fare more fashionable than impulse shopping.

      we always learn life's lessons the hard way but i thank myself for the experience. i wouldn't be what i am now if i didn't experience it. self-control is hard but i got use to it.

      i ask myself so hard if i really need the item when i see one while at the mall. :)

      ReplyDelete
    19. i love you for this post, i really do! its funny cos just before i read it this morning i was thinking about (something? i cant even remember now) that i wanted to buy, then went no i dont need to... orrrr.... then read your post and it was like HELLO! Fate? I was so good when i got back from being overseas, i didn't shop AT ALL for an entire month or a bit longer, but once i got working again and started going into town it was so hard not to want all the lovely new things. your tips are so good tho, i try now also to know in my head what i want already and not just buy cos its cute but buy it cos its something ive wanted prior to seeing it in store just once. anyway, thanks again lovely lady im def gonna be trying harder to not shop as much xo

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    20. I love love your skirt!!

      http://fashiablee.blogspot.com

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    21. I love your outfit! The red is perfect - and the skirt looks lovely. :)

      I agree about consumerism - and I find it sad that so much of our entertainment is from consuming and spending money. :( I definitely keep questioning myself and justifying the reasons to buy something. And if I do buy something, I try to buy it from a place with a good return policy. :)

      Thank you for the fantastic post! I will definitely follow your blog now. :)

      -Evelina
      effervescentevelina.blogspot.com

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    22. Geweldige rok, en die kleur, wauw, ik wil 'm ook!

      ReplyDelete
    23. i love how fresh the leaves are, they won't get any fresher. laying around can be the most relaxing thing to do. i love love the skirt, how fabulous are you in red. the movement and the length of the skirt are simple phenomenal.

      I spend a lot of money on clothing, because i am the daughter of my mom. most of the time we go shopping together (credit card overload). when i buy things i know exactly what i want, most of the time i have done some research on the internet: i wanted to have a classic bag that would last for centuries, so i bought a Chanel bag. most of the time i know perfectly how much it will cost me (except for the Chanel), but i am not afraid to ask the price.

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    24. Everytime I see those glasses I want them even more. And that skirt is a beauty.

      C x
      http://memiorsofalittlethingcalledlife.blogspot.com/

      ReplyDelete
    25. Great, great post (and awesome skirt). It's definitely true that blogging does put more temptation in the way, or at the very least makes you think you need new clothes for each post to make it interesting.. One of the things I do is go on Asos, Topshop or whatever website and put things I like in the virtual shopping basket. Then I close the browser page, and forget about the items.. meaning of course that I really didn't need them in the first place! x

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    26. Hmm... het is problematisch als je je aankopen begint te verbergen natuurlijk (omdat je weet dat mensen er iets over gaan zeggen). Ik geef het altijd toe als ik geshopt heb, maar ik moet ook toegeven dat mensen hier vaak commentaar op geven of mij echt beschouwen als een shopaholic, waar ik uiteraard ook zelf mee lach of het toegeef. Ik ga uiteraard graag shoppen, maar ik geef nooit geld uit dat ik niet heb of dat mij in de problemen zal brengen & ik kan ook gerust een tijdje zonder shoppen. Meestal vind ik het zelf niet zo leuk om te shoppen als ik mij down voel dus dat probleem heb ik ook niet echt. Nu ja, ik moet gwn wel toegeven dat ik veel kleren heb & veel dingen koop maar ik beschouw het ook wel een beetje als mijn hobby/passie. Niet dat dat iets "goedpraat" als dat al zou moeten, maar nee, iets nieuws heb ik in principe niet nodig, ik koop het gewoon omdat ik het kan en wil..

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    27. Wow, I did not expect to come across an article criticizing consumerism on a fashion blog. The whole point of most blogs seems to be showing off new outfits each day. Glad to read that you're about more than just clothes :) I think that for most girls, it is almost a moral imperative to shop the latest trends. If you miss out on one, you will be left behind, is what they seem to think. But I believe that your own style will get you much further in life. Plus, I don't have the money to buy every new it-bag ;)

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    28. je hebt absluuuut gelijk! sommieg vrouwen zijn echt wel een beetje outof control.Ik denk meestal gewoon if you can't effort it, leave it. Het zelfde met mensen die alleen maar rondlopen in de duurste kleding en dan moeite hebben met de huishuur te betalen, seriously, what's up with that?!
      oja, en je ziet er trouwens echt weer leuk uit:) de rok is super mooi!

      ReplyDelete
    29. My biggest shopping problem is, surprisingly, that I thrift shop. I fall into the "Oh, it's only $8!" habit, and next thing I know, I've got $80 worth of $6-10 items. Thrift shopping has however cut down on my consumption of new things, mostly because of sticker shock. I'm used to paying $10-15 tops for most things, I'm not about to shell out $80 for one item!

      AND, I absolutely adore this outfit. It just oozes warm-weather goodness, super cute.

      ReplyDelete
    30. you are divine. i love these pictures!

      http://tinyaltars.blogspot.com

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    31. Yes it's the same with the weather here in Germany :-/ But your lovely outfit definitely brightens up ther day :)

      Alas, consumerism! Awful...but it's not our fault, we were born into this society that consumes consumes consumes. However I think it's really easy to let go of bad shopping habits (a.k.a. spending too much money) by just thinking of other peoples lives, the life of people that hardly have enough money to survive. For example it was that I red a book about a Belgian journalist who travelled through crisis areas in Africa and Asia and after I had finished this book I changed my mind and forced myself to not buy clothing and accessories for one month and it worked.
      Once you've gotten over a certain point it's really easy to not buy unneccesary things.
      Of course I lapsed back into old habits quickly after this month, but I want to try regular no-shopping-month to keep me grounded :)

      ReplyDelete
    32. Spoken like an expert. I'm a compulsive shopper. I do it because it feels good and I tend to shop when I'm bored. This started around the time I got my first job at 17 and it truly hasn't stopped. Sure, it's gone through periods of good and bad, but the urge is always there. At least now I'm only buying with real money and not credit. Whew, that was bad. But still, now that I'm married and we pool our income I feel really guilty that I don't contribute as much as my husband because "I really 'needed' that top, etc.

      I like your advice of making a list of purchases. You can't justify it/lie to yourself after it's in staring back at you documented.

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    33. that is such a great vintage red skirt!
      xoxo
      Catita

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    34. Awesome post! Very inspiring thankyou for doing it lovely besides that you look amazing! Look at that beautiful skirt I want one <3

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    35. wauw!
      love the skirt, love the top, love the glasses, love the ring

      it's really inspiring!

      xoxo

      ReplyDelete
    36. Haha this post is me-- shopping is my "cookie" and I am making an effort to cut back! I love your skirt btw :)
      La Petite Marmoset

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    37. love the pleated skirt - love the color

      ReplyDelete
    38. First, that skirt is gorgeous. I am on a pleated skirt of all lengths and colors rampage. Love it.

      Great post on consumerism. It is certainly rampant and shoppping can turn into a serious addiction. I have a friend (or three) that will buy clothes and shoes over paying rent.

      ReplyDelete
    39. AMEN and well said. i work in an office and have about 8 hours a day in front of a computer with little to do but surf the internet, which turns into window shopping, which turns into compulsive shopping - and there is nothing cool about it. your tips are spot-on, especially the one about whether 'the girl in your head' would buy/wear it - i often make impulse buys that make no sense with my closet and i end up guiltily hiding it away to forget it every happened. stupid.

      ReplyDelete
    40. First, that skirt is gorgeous. I am on a pleated skirt of all lengths and colors rampage. Love it.

      Great post on consumerism. It is certainly rampant and shoppping can turn into a serious addiction. I have a friend (or three) that will buy clothes and shoes over paying rent.

      ReplyDelete
    41. wauw!
      love the skirt, love the top, love the glasses, love the ring

      it's really inspiring!

      xoxo

      ReplyDelete
    42. Awesome post! Very inspiring thankyou for doing it lovely besides that you look amazing! Look at that beautiful skirt I want one <3

      ReplyDelete
    43. Spoken like an expert. I'm a compulsive shopper. I do it because it feels good and I tend to shop when I'm bored. This started around the time I got my first job at 17 and it truly hasn't stopped. Sure, it's gone through periods of good and bad, but the urge is always there. At least now I'm only buying with real money and not credit. Whew, that was bad. But still, now that I'm married and we pool our income I feel really guilty that I don't contribute as much as my husband because "I really 'needed' that top, etc.

      I like your advice of making a list of purchases. You can't justify it/lie to yourself after it's in staring back at you documented.

      ReplyDelete
    44. Wonderful post! I've never thought of myself as a compulsive consumerist - I own everything purchase, hide it from no one, stick to a tight budget that I feel comfortable with, and love to save money by thrifting...but you are so right about all of this!

      xoxo ~ Courtney
      http://sartorialsidelines.blogspot.com

      ReplyDelete
    45. Oh, wanted to add... I definitely agree that a lot of bloggers are just girls validating their shopping addictions--that was an awesome line!

      ReplyDelete
    46. I am just going to put this out there...
      i think you are amazing for writing about this topic. it is so true that commercialism saturates the lives of people and being a shopaholic can happen on so many levels! I am a shopaholic. It got really bad when we moved out here to Germany and I felt really lonely and isolated. I want to shop all the time and was mad when I didn't get to, whether buying something new or at the secondhand shop. That is a problem and I try to deal with it. Sometimes it's still hard and I think I slip up but overall I think I am doing better... blogging and "shopping" in my own closet is helpful. I revamped and culled my wardrobe so I don't have those mornings where i don't "have anything" to wear. I cook new things. I read more and take and edit photos which is helping... I used to spend hours and hours online window-shopping and making wishlists... there is so much more to life than just having the newest clothes. Seeing girls with the fantasy closets and sponsorships in the blogosphere is daunting sometimes, but one has to go back to their own reality. Talk about your shopaholic tendencies with your friends and family and they will help and encourage you in positive ways! When you do get the chance to buy something, you will feel rewarded and not guilty about it and it will more than likely be something you love and will use a lot rather than something that just curbed the shopping appetite. I am open to talk about my experience with anyone who is interested and be there for them if they need me. Thank you Annebeth!

      ReplyDelete
    47. I'm fairly disciplined and controlled, but I definitely feel as though the blog has made it more difficult, partly because so much more temptation is put in my way, partly because successful bloggers seem to have the latest stuff (I know this is a stupid reason). But I mean, you, for example, have midi skirts, clogs, you're wearing pleats today (all recent trends right). I have nude tones, bow blouses, platforms (also recent trends) and it's all filtering down to the next level and encouraging other people to spend more just as we are being encouraged by Calivintage, if you know what I mean. I think the hardest part about blogging (which I love) for me has been the increase in consumerist urges, and feeling a part of that system. Hmmm.

      P.S. I feel like I'm always arguing with your posts, but actually I usually agree. I guess I just like venting in your comment section!

      ReplyDelete
    48. Love this outfit!
      and yes...I know exactly what you mean about impulse buys...I still have so much trouble controlling myself even with my budget, I go up and down some months I am SO good but then the next month (like this one) I go insane...it is NOT fun being a shopaholic...but I know why I dio it...since I don't have many human relationships I love my closet and my clothes and my Harry Potter things...they make me happy so I just keep buying...haha *phew* that was long
      http://www.closet-fashionista.com/

      ReplyDelete
    49. I completely agree with you, it is so easy to let style take a back seat to fashion and just to buy something new to 'give an outfit an edge'. I'm on my fourth week shopping free (I thought Lent would be a good time to try giving up shopping - everyone's giving something up so it makes it less tough to stick to) and it definitely gets easier as you go along. An added bonus is that you learn how to be even more creative with your styling. Thanks for an awesome and inspirational post! xx

      ReplyDelete
    50. Weer een geweldige post Annebeth ! Soms heb ik het ook wel eens moeilijk om iets niet te kopen, maar dan hang ik het terug en ga ik eerst in andere winkels kijken.. Als ik het na een uur nog steeds wil & ik heb goed nagedacht of ik het kan gebruiken/dragen, dan koop ik het pas ;)

      x

      ReplyDelete
    51. i love you for this post, i really do! its funny cos just before i read it this morning i was thinking about (something? i cant even remember now) that i wanted to buy, then went no i dont need to... orrrr.... then read your post and it was like HELLO! Fate? I was so good when i got back from being overseas, i didn't shop AT ALL for an entire month or a bit longer, but once i got working again and started going into town it was so hard not to want all the lovely new things. your tips are so good tho, i try now also to know in my head what i want already and not just buy cos its cute but buy it cos its something ive wanted prior to seeing it in store just once. anyway, thanks again lovely lady im def gonna be trying harder to not shop as much xo

      ReplyDelete